Sunday, 14 December 2014

Sad but it doesn't make sense...

So now that the Test match series between India and Australia has started after the very sad demise of Phil Hughes, I thought the focus would be back on cricket but media has turned it into a story of courage. And that courage is displayed by whom? the Australian batsmen who were among runs in this match. I don't understand why? or how is that courage?

I mean no disrespect to Phil Hughes here but I seriously do not think that David Warren or Michael Clarke showed any extra courage or should be given any extra credit for making a century on a test match which followed Hughes death. Are they related? Are they family? What are they? Nothing, just team mates. Shit happens, move on. I am sure 1 month down the line, none of these "teammates" are going to face the loss which Hughes family has to bear every single day now. They are the real courageous people, they are showing true character by cancelling the State funeral because they thought enough propaganda has already happened around this.

If this is courageous, then I show courage everyday. Hell, fkking every other person shows courage every single day because am sure someone would have died someday or the other somewhere whom he knew, but he goes on with his life and manages to get by the day doing his regular work. If David Warren is courageous, then Sachin is another league all together when in World Cup, after his father died, he returned to crack a century against Kenya. That is being courageous and not this psuedo muppeting around nonsense.


Monday, 8 December 2014

Concept of power-

Increasingly power in banking has moved towards concepts like division, isolation, exclusivity and "breaking" up things, breeding disloyalty and invariably it has ultimately hurt the person trying to get powerful through these means. What happened to "strength in numbers", "power is in bringing people together and not in breaking up people"?

My point of view is obviously limited to very few firms and only a limited number of years in work experience but I think I would find it safe to assume that this is happening at more than 70% desks/banks/teams. Of course a lot of it is driven by the circumstances, current economy situation and the deep shit the banks find themselves in BUT post 2009, I think a lot of the measures taken on HR/personnel front have just acted as a counter and taken everything backwards.

I think till HR policies and desk manager's approach does not start leaning towards bringing people together and greater transperancy in the allocation of sub-power and it's consequences, there would always be under performance in the team (by individuals and by the whole team).

Managers need to realise that the very people they are trying to divide, are the resource / key to their success. The very goal that has been eluding them is due to their own doing, their myopic point of view is the 75 percent reason of them losing power in next 3 years if not sooner.


Saturday, 6 December 2014

Irish Exit-

I had this bad habit of disappearing after a couple of drinks every time I am out with my friends. I would excuse myself to go to the washroom and then just leave without telling people. And on top of it, I would switch off my cellphone and just go quiet for rest of the weekend (it was a usual phenomenon on Friday late nights). So much so that couple of my friends nick named me "Cinderella" and for the longest time I thought it was because I was cool as Russel Crowe's character in the movie "Cindrella Man" :)

Now I have obviously improved after constant feedback but recently some of my office colleagues pulled the stunt on me and I got to know it is called the "Irish Exit"


Wednesday, 3 December 2014

New found respect...

for Sajid Khan and Shakti Kapoor. Saw a play in HK called "Mid Summer Night Dreams" and it was so poorly produced, screen played, scripted and acted that my "Jungle Book" of 7th grade stood out like Schindler's List in front of it!

The comedy was so slapstick and non comic that Shakti Kapoor in Chaalbaaz with his "main nanna sa, munna sa bacha hoon" dialogue might come across hilarious. Equally Sajid Khan's "Humshakals" is looking like an academy award winning masterpiece.

On top of this, the play was so overpriced! And there was no popcorn or hotdog either!

And worst was - as we were exiting the theater (or joke of a theater), I overheard 2 English ladies talk to each other how wonderful the play was and how they will get their kids to come watch it. Utter bull shit!!! They will drop dead with pleasure if they watch Bollywood movies if they get impressed with crap like this play.


Wednesday, 26 November 2014

26/11 Anniversary

So today was the anniversary of the Mumbai terrorist attacks and I was recalling how I was right in the middle of it (well not in Oberoi or Taj but another hotel).

I was on a biz trip and when I was at the airport, news had started coming in already that there is something wrong with the flights to India and there would be a delay to all Mumbai flights. I remember I never thought at the time that it was due to something so major, I thought this was yet another Indian Airport related fkkup. So as the flight delayed even more, people actually inquired more and it was pretty evident what was the cause.

I was caught in 2 minds, whether I should just cancel the trip or just go ahead because as I always think "mujh jaise rakshas ladke ko kabhi kuch nahin ho sakta hai". I ended going ahead with the trip purely due to 1 reason. I was ball-less at that time (still the case!). I was worried about what my then boss would say and think so poorly of me (yes, he definitely would never thing that it is a genuine reason to cancel a trip!).

So the whole flight is pretty uneventful except the fact that I was getting worried that how would I go from airport to my hotel?! I doubt any cabs etc would be available. I checked my ticket, thankfully there was a pickup listed. But you never know, the hotel guys might say, fkk this guy, who cares...unlike me the driver might have the guts to value his life!

Anyway, I land, pickup is there with my name card! I sit, I try to chat the driver up if it is safe to go etc, he was like over confident "haan haan - koi vanda nahin, woh sab south mumbai mein ho raha hai, apun to highway pe hai, beech mein hai yeh hotel".
Ok...if he says so. The roads were empty, so his optimism wasn't being shared by many people i guess. Anyway about 1km from the hotel, there was a huge police barrier and they stopped up. Made me get out, checked my hotel tickets, luggage, there was a sniffer dog who was looking rather tired. The police then tell the cab driver to get lost. I was like what?!! Then what will I do. I have this luggage and I had no clue how far is the hotel (I later got to know it was around 1km). Police guy said, ok on your way, go on...walk...pointing me towards the direction.

I start walking...couple of guys were ahead of me at 400m types distance but otherwise it was an empty road at 11pm at night. I was thinking, I need a set of balls now, enough....I can't be dying in Mumbai of all the places!

Anyway I reach the hotel, operations were even tighter. Multiple dogs, security checks, no concierge. I guess all the five star hotels were in lock down mode. Anyway I checked in, reached my hotel, locked it etc...So then I thought, ok let's tub a bit. Chill, let's have a beer and sit in the tub. So as I am doing that, I hear a loud banging noise on my door. I ignored, rather I was too engrossed in my tubbing. Again, even louder banging. This time it was fkking scary. I was like "gaye beta...mara lo...KSML types...ok let me atleast wear some clothes". So i go to he door in that bath robe kinda thingie, shout out "who is it". No reply but just constant banging. I was like khol deta hoon before they shoot me! I open up and what do I find - 2 police guys and that sniffer son of a bitch again. I was like "fkk u guys, you gave me a heart attack....why didn't you answer when I asked who is it" They are like it is standard protocol, will happen in every 4 hours so be prepared.

It went the whole day, I was mostly hotel restricted, had only a couple of meetings and then returned. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life after trying to snorkel in Andaman!


Sunday, 16 November 2014

Watching cricket is no more fun-

The game has become too one sided in favor of the batsmen. Even miscued shots go for six because of extremely short boundaries and those huge heavy 2 inch thick bats. Bowlers are basically reduced to necessities because without them the game can't be played else they might not even exist.

Something has to change. Either the bats need to return to the older weight/built and the boundaries need to be longer. At least ensure that a shot which wasn't middled properly gets caught out instead of sailing over for six!


Give the bowlers a choice as well on which balls they can choose etc. Like batsmen choose their own bats with different weight, thickness long handle/short handle etc, bowlers should be open to choose between red/white, how many overs old etc. There has to be some advantage given to them sooner than later to make it fairer else it is just a slug/slog fest.


Wednesday, 12 November 2014

New Interest - Astrology

Have started following / reading / watching a lot of lectures on Astrology. Not surprisingly, it makes a lot of sense and quite surprisingly I am actually able to do a bit of reading myself now. I plan to take this up much more seriously but anyone who has no hesitations in sharing their Date of birth, Place of Birth and Time of Birth with me, I can get back to you with a reading (I guess more practice for me and free of charge, sensible and useful commentary for you)


The next level of weight loss-

Given so many people read my first post "how to lose 350gms weight every week", I thought I should release my next theory which will fine tune the concept further.

It is essentially based around the fact that gymming needs to be used as a strategic tool rather than as an everyday / routine kind of activity. Our body has a carbohydrate bank (henceforth it will be referred to as CB in the post for my convenience) at any given point of time. The weight gain happens because the energy that the body is burning is far lesser than the energy stored in this CB. Now one thing needs to be mentioned here which is very important: CB is different than Fat and Protein calories. Eating equal amount of calories from Protein, Fat and Carbs leads to unequal weight gain (proven scientifically). The order of weight gain is Protein < Fat < Carbs.

Coming back to the point - so to lose weight, essentially one needs to keep CB in check (ideally 0 but that of course is not possible). The way to keep CB in check is to either eat no carbs or to exercise off the carbs every time you add any out of the ordinary amounts into your CB. Now here comes my revolutionary mind blowing theory. Our body has a hidden amount of CB energy. What does it mean? It is a concept similar to - why does steam at 100 degrees cause more burns than boiling water at exactly the same temperature? it is because steam contains some hidden heat which is called "latent" heat. Similarly, our body has a latent CB, so every time one decides to lose weight or start exercising, one does not see any weight loss for the first 2 weeks despite gymming our asses off! Because during those 2 weeks, the body is just burning that latent CB. Meanwhile due to gymming everyday, one feels more hungry (metabolism fastens up temporarily), eats more thinking that no harm in eating more because we gymmed today and the faster metabolism will burn it. It is here that the mistake lies in gymming everyday as routine - it just never lets the CB come down due to continuous extra eating and because one never flushes out the latent CB in the first place!

Solution - decide on a Saturday (of course after praying to the mighty lord of Saturn) that you want to lose weight in next 3-4 months. On that Saturday, don't do halka phulka mickey mouse exercises. Do a proper rigorous 2 hour cardio session and please for god's sake don't have any recovery drinks / snacks for muscle building or whatever bullshit you might have read (that stuff is for recovery of pro-soccer players...are you one? NO you are NOT). Rest for 5-6 hours and then go for a long walk, for some cycling, hiking...remember the aim is to bring that latent CB down to 0 before you can march on the path of weight loss.
Now comes Sunday, you would be feeling drained, YES great, that is a symptom of being on the right track. If you have a spring in your step on Sunday then that means your CB is huge and you need to work harder! Sunday you basically repeat what you did on Saturday. If not rigorous gymming, then basically go for a long hike. Key for these 2 days is not to add to any stuff to CB (so no recovery bars, energy bars, no bananas, no chocolates, no fruit juices, no desserts etc etc, you get the drift!) Just eat normal food, 3 times a day.

Now that CB is flushed, latent energy bank is at minimum, you basically have to keep calorie intake in check and that's it. DON'T gym unless you have cheated in your calorie intake through Carbs. If you went out drinking one night, then your goal is to burn those off within the next 24 hours. If you had 1 drink, then gym for 15 minutes. If you had 5 drinks, then you need to gym for an hour. If you had 10 then...join alcoholic anonymous, you have far more serious issues than weight problems!
You went out for an elaborate dinner coupled with desserts, you need to work out for an hour and a half. You have been sticking to the controlled diet, eating a good mix of proteins and fats with very less Carbs then you DON'T have to gym. I mean it, please do not jack up your metabolism temporarily which will end up making you eat more afterwards. Use the gym as a strategic tool to keep CB in check only.



Friday, 7 November 2014

Why would Sachin do this?

This whole Sachin Tendulkar autobiography excerpts which have come out - it is so typical Sachin. I am not impressed with this sh%t. When he was in the team, he used to never come on record or take responsibility for anything meaningful, now suddenly he is opening secrets, talking on selective issues and expressing an "expert" opinion. His whole funda of proxy captaincy, running subtle hints from behind the scenes and "influencing" team members is a smart tactic but not my kind of thing. He is the greatest ODI batsman and top 3 Test batsmen ever without a doubt but he has had 2-3 pretty huge gaps in his list of achievements. The biggest according to me was his inability to perform together with captaincy. No one has shied away from captaincy and refused it as blatantly as Sachin in the modern history of the game - which is fine, he has his priorities set BUT it should take away his ability to run the team and proxy influencing it as well.

1) Most talked about Greg Chappell issue - he never spoke about it during that time, now suddenly he has an incident to come out with?! Either be Ganguly who took that guy head on right during his stint or be like Dravid who didn't speak then, nor wants to comment on it now

2) Kapil being a disappointment as a coach - again - what crap! why not give that feedback then so that next set of coaches are picked accordingly etc?

3) No comments on match fixing because I don't know enough - hahahaha seriously? it was happening all around you. Couple of your team mates were allegedly right in the thick of it and you have no comments?

4) Showing Ian Chappell the size of the mirror because you have played more tests than him - fair enough, how come you didn't have the balls to say this then in any interview?

I really like Sachin but all this autobiography nonsense just dilutes his brand - he was a solid, less talk, more action guy who was focused on one and only one thing, how to score the maximum amount of runs for India (mind you - not how to make India win). This image is getting hurt by all this post retirement stuff (he anyway fkked up a lot in his last couple of years pre-retirement). The lowest points of his playing career have been refusing captaincy time and again, his 100th hundred against Bangladesh and getting his 200th test fixed against West Indies at home. The lowest points of his non playing career have been selling that Ferrari which he got as a gift (after India customs let go off the excise duties!) and now this autobiography.



I dream of...

bowling off spin bowling everyday these days...i mean literally. It is a recurring dream for the past 6 months where I see myself in Indian colors, bowling off-spin bowling every match - both in ODIs and Test Matches.

I am frankly quite disappointed with this dream (it is a notch up from the nightmares i get) but I have always found off-spin bowling feminine. Not that there is anything wrong in that but I just don't see myself as an off-spinner. Playing for India and all is ok, but come on not off-spin. I was a fine batsman mind you in my younger days. Wouldn't say I was Sachin but could have given a combo of Dravid and Ganguly a run for their money at 1-down / opener position (versatile you see, my name was Mayur "versatile" Aggarwal). I had that immense desire to not give away my wicket and was able to bat for many hours at a time not necessarily scoring many runs (whatever runs were scored were through the off side with glorious cover drives reminding many people of Lara). So much so that I used to get 2 battings due to my immense talent but I strongly suspect because I used to own the wickets and the bat and most importantly the ball :)

Anyway coming back to the point of off-spin (I have this bad habit of digressing - my only real flaw). So i am balling ball after ball, lame, insipid off-spin bowling and the worst part is that I haven't yet taken a wicket in 6 months. I come, ball and then get hit for runs - only saving grace is that noone has hit me yet for a six! I wonder if this has to do anything with my real life - aimless, pointless "off-spin" bowling for last 7.5 years. Come on God, give me a chance as an opener (i prefer to be at the non striking end :) or as a 1 down. Ok, if not batting, atleast let me bowl fast bowling dude, seriously! Ok if not even fast bowling then my next preference is leg spin and if not even that then I want to apply for the wicket-keeper position because I ain't fkking running around anymore doing fielding and bowling stupid off-spin!


Thursday, 6 November 2014

Everyone is a -

son/daughter of their parents. Of their mother and father. And no matter how much they want to be different from them, no matter how much certain qualities you don't want to inherit, no matter so many qualities that you want to bring which are missing in them, you will always remain their child and turn out like them. There is no escaping.

I come across so many people everyday especially my own generation who are intelligent (in the true sense, no sarcasm) and so aware. They can compartmentalize the qualities of their parents into good, bad, neutral so well BUT when it comes down to shaping their own personalities, deep down under, when push comes to shove, when pressure is high, when that moment which counts the most, comes in front of them - they always show their true colors, the colors of their parents.


Monday, 3 November 2014

What kind of women should...

one have in their lives?

Someone who is constantly trying to change you, make you supposedly "better", sets the bar higher everyday testing your patience, your "respect" for women? So much so that it is exhausting to meet the newly set bar?


Someone who always agrees with whatever you think/do and then uses that as a tool to free ride in getting baby-sit, doesn't challenge you in getting better, rising above your otherwise mediocre standards and almost is aloof to the point of being dissociated with the reality of your pathetic existence?

I wonder...everyday...


Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Life turning event-

I saw the movie "Happy New Year" yesterday. I can't believe a movie can be this powerful and have such a great mix of entertainment and social message built in it. I watch a lot of movies and this easily beats hands down every movie I have ever seen in my life.

Logically consistent, brilliantly acted and slickly edited, what more can one ask for when watching a movie! I don't want to be a movie spoiler here, so let's just say you guys can read this for a better idea-

This movie has changed my life like "My cousin vinny" did 20 years back in Chandigarh. Easily one of the best lawyer / courtroom movies I have seen or which exist (they are one and the same thing!)


Thursday, 23 October 2014

Yet again...

Arsene Wenger uses a 4-1-4-1 formation against a team which they can easily beat or rather "should" easily beat. How can formation be same against Chelsea, Man City, Anderlecht and Hull City??? Please explain me...they are 4 different types of team and Arsenal plays with the same formation against everyone. I am beginning to lose my patience with their sh%t.

Last minute goals save Arsenal again and guess who scored? Podolski! I in my previous post mentioned it too that Podolski has one of the highest goals/appearances ratio in the Arsenal squad. He should play every time on the left wing or in 4-4-2 formation.

Now that Ozil is out injured too BUT Ramsey and Walcott are back, (Walcott is semi back i guess, I strongly suspect he will be used only as a substitute for next 5 -10 matches) the team should be:
Rosiscky - yes use him as a DM instead of Arteta or Flamini (Flamini is actually doing a good job but he is too defensive, doesn't link up play forward at all)
Podolski - he can be substituted by Oxlade if needed
Welbeck - he should most definitely be substituted by Walcott. I would start Walcott in case he is fit

Wilshere should be on bench every match, each day, each time. He is an over rated player and does not produce any assists / goals to make a case for his inclusion.


Monday, 20 October 2014

New definition of being good-

I use the phrase "this guy is a good guy" a lot! and by a lot, i really mean a lot. Infact I always pass a judgement on whomever I meet and I invariably share that with my wife.

She always has either of these 2 reactions - thinks I am being judgmental OR everyone is good / no one is bad. To this I in turn always have the same reaction back again (Physics 2nd law was infact my favorite law in science!) - judgmental my a$$, I think it is a profound waste of time if one is being politically correct all the time or being non-judgmental OR I keep quiet with nothing to say back on the "everyone is good" theory.

I thought a lot about it. I know everyone can't be good. I know for sure that it is impossible that no one is bad. And then I think I found a definition of my "good". I realized that age old definition of being good has no place for empathy, gives no points for being aware of one's surroundings and reacting according to them or for that matter to any sensitivity. Somewhere so many people are still stuck with a thought that if you are not causing any physical pain to anyone or deliberately causing any mental anxiety to anyone, you are being good. And I think NO, IT IS NOT ENOUGH to be good. (Please to take note here, in no way am I construing that I am good under my new definition, I most certainly am not). The above things only make you "not bad" and not "good". There is a difference in being "not bad" and being "good".

A dog can sit on a road, chill out and mind his own business, not bite anyone, not bark - does that make it good? Increasingly I have come across people who want to be just "not bad". They have no clue what is happening around them. They don't care. I definitely want to be more than "not bad". I want to be a "good" guy - that is the least I expect out of myself.


Thursday, 16 October 2014

Project Rosie-

Read this book last night - in one sitting...fairly interesting and more importantly a very easy read. Picked it up because Bill Gates mentioned it in his 9 most important books to read (I have no clue why??!)

Couple of things which struck me as I was reading it were-
1) The book will have sequels - a big turn off!
2) It is a rom - com kinda book which reminds you of the movie "As good as it gets" right from the word go BUT the book mentions that movie in it so I assume the book has been inspired from the movie and not vice versa
3) The book has 2 distinct halves - first which is very coherent and makes sense and a second which goes on a bollywoodish track and not consistent with the characters laid out in the first half

My favorite line / joke from the book is-
Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: "Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really piss me off!


Saturday, 11 October 2014

Another injury-

in the Arsenal camp. What a disaster this time! Mesut Ozil gone for 12 weeks atleast. There is something wrong with the medical team at Arsenal. How come these guys get injured so much at Arsenal?

I am not hopeful on the 4th place anymore. The January transfer window can't seem to come any sooner, we need atleast 3 more players now - 1 central defender, 1 central attacking midfielder (Cazorla is not enough) and 1 striker (Danny Welbeck can't score to save his life!)

Which brings me to this another thing I read - Arsene Wenger keeps on repeating that he has enough attacking midfielders in the form of Ozil, Ramsey, Wilshere, Carzola and Oxlade. Fair enough but then why is Rosiscky not getting named in this list? If he is not an attacking midfielder then what the fuck is he? A defensive one? Ok, if he is a defensive one then doesn't it solve a huge problem at Arsenal? Why is he not getting played at the holding fielder position when Arteta is injured?? Why is Flamini getting played? (I actually think he is better than both of them).

Instead Wenger keeps on saying that he will convert Diaby into a holding midfielder??!! Why is there a need to do that? If anything, Diaby needs to be sold now and done with that chapter once and for all. Diaby is not his son or brother or anything, I don't understand, why is Arsene taking it as a personal challenge to bring him back into the team?

There are atleast 5 people in the current squad which are there to just make up numbers. Except Walcott who is coming back from injury, I doubt people like Gnabry etc can bring any real value. Yes they might make up the playing XI but so can the reserve team. Who will score the goals??!!


Friday, 10 October 2014

What is patience?

It is the license you give others to act increasingly stupid, unreasonable and unintelligent. The most distinct characteristic about patience is that it has no absoluteness attached to it. It is only as good as your last displayed act of impatience. It is like the Sobriety counter you get at Alcoholics Anonymous. As you progress, with each passing day, year, you keep getting a new counter which states that you are 1 week sober, 1 year sober, 15 years sober BUT the day you lose control and drink alcohol, you start with the 1 day sober counter again!

You will invariably be reduced to their level by a stupid person and then beaten through experience!


Thursday, 9 October 2014

Why is Dhoni not made to retire from T20 internationals?

When India won the ODI world cup in 2011, all eyes were on Sachin and he was expected to retire. When he didn't, there was so much criticism that he is playing for personal milestones and not thinking about the greater good of Indian team etc. That was despite being the leading ODI scorer for Indian team during that phase from 2011 - 2013 when he did retire (if anything he should have retired from test matches before he did from ODIs according to me!)

Anyway main point being - now that T20 world cup is over, why is Dhoni still playing T20 internationally? What is he adding to the team? He is if anything blocking 2 spots for a future Indian team - 1) that of a wicket keeper  and more importantly 2) that of a captain.
I think, he should be asked to step down and selectors should give other people a chance whom he would like to see in T20 WC in 2016 and ODI WC in 2019 (for wicket keeper - saha, dinesh kartik, robin uthappa and for captain - virat kohli, suresh raina rather reluctantly rohit sharma).
Why is there no criticism of Dhoni when he is doing a "Sachin"???

Different yardsticks for different people.


Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Chetan Bhagat-

Met him yesterday near IFC 2 in HongKong, told him he is doing a good job. He was actually surprised that people recognize him hahaha...I wasn't expecting that, I thought he would be all airy like Sushmita Sen!

He does write entertaining stuff and frankly he should get credit for the last 3-4 watchable hindi movies to come out : 3 Idiots, Kai Po Che, 2 States, Kick (yes, he wrote that screenplay) BUT his books are not "keepable" category. I am carrying out this cleaning operation at home and his books were the first ones to be put down in the "donation" list. He is yet not in the same league as Yann Martel / Vikram Seth OR his books need to have a pseuder book cover!


Monday, 6 October 2014

Personality type and the responsibility it brings-

This post, more than anything is a test of my grammar and of how well am I able to put my thoughts down coherently in a post, as that is a constant criticism from one of my rather anal readers!

So for long, I have thought about this topic, struggled with the consequences of this syndrome and have gradually wanted to change / grade off certain characteristics in my personality. Before I come to reasons for wanting to change and the consequences, I would like to tell the background of the problem.

I don't know when it all started but somehow I have been put in a very definitive personality type box by all my friends, family (excluding mother) and my wife (yes family is different than wife - separate post on that). They all think I am this very bubbly guy, happy, comic, always cracking jokes type, slightly sarcastic and one who doesn't take things to heart kinds. I have no fucking clue why they think that because out of all the above, the only thing that mildly resonates with reality is that I am sarcastic, not mildly but full blown 100% asshole certified sarcastic. Rest is a lie. May be back in college days, when i wanted to be popular among girls, i might have invented a few stories or cracked some jokes (after all most women in their "top 5 qualities they look in a guy" start with "sense of humour"...hahaha...what bullshit) but other than that, i don't remember when have i shown bubbliness or happiness or whatever. If anything, my mother thinks i am a fucking psycho and need professional help. 

Now the consequences are extremely tiresome, frustrating and making me go deeper into this problem. Every time I meet my friends, they expect me to be happy, no matter what shit my life is going through, no matter how my mood is, no matter anything. It is the same expectation - "mayura...kuch sunao...we luv your jokes" and I always think in my mind - "abey kyu...main koi kapil sharma hoon?! i am sad, seriously just let me have a drink, smoke up and stay sad...i want to stay depressed...plz". There is barely a time when I am in a social gathering and I can have a quiet drink, eat my food, just soak up the entertainment (if any!) for a change.

But the bigger problem has just hit me, now no one needs to tell me to crack jokes or tell stories or prompt me to be happy. Then you would wonder, where is the problem? The problem is that now I have gone on an auto pilot where my trigger reaction on seeing anyone is to light up, tell a story and be entertaining - but somewhere that is not me. Somewhere I am ignoring the bigger issues in my life , it is bringing a certain casualness in my approach to life and that is leading me slowly down a road which has LOSER written all over it. I am so engrossed all the time in my head inventing new jokes, stories to entertain people, family, wife that I have forgotten that entertainment is a secondary aspect of life. I am not SRK or Tom Cruise that i need to entertain people...I need to fix my life and let everything else go to hell.

The responsibility of my perceived personality is weighing me down and I am getting increasingly worried about the consequences that are staring me in my face.

Funny or rather worrying shit of the day-

There is something wrong about this statement. I found it funny and then worrying. In case you are getting curious about what's new in the statement, I am NOT on the girl's side here. Figure it out.
And this does bring me to a topic on which I have wanted to write for a very long time - section 304A and 498B of the Indian penal code or the Dowry Law! More later on that.


Saturday, 4 October 2014

Team set up for tomorrow-

Arsenal is playing Chelsea tomorrow. In all likelyhood, it will be an Arsenal bashing UNLESS they use the 2 holding midfielder formation. I think the team set up should be:
Chambers  Mertesacker Kochlieny Gibbs
            Rosicky                          Flamini
    Oxlade    Ozil        Wilshere       Sanchez

Substitutes should be:
Oxlade or Rosicky gives place to Monreal in case left looks open.
Wilshere gives place to Cazorla in case offensive looks less penetrating.
Welbeck gives place to Podolski for better finishing.

Please just use 2 holding midfielders! Plzzz


Friday, 3 October 2014

Hum kya chakhe hain??!

Mary Kom wins the 7th gold medal for India in the ongoing Asian games. Great...well done!

Dozens of celebrities congratulated her on that feat and did not mention any of the 6 people prior to Mary who won gold. Poor...not done!

Woh 6 log kya chakhe hain? or is it that your knowledge of Indian sportsmen is limited to the latest hindi movie released on a sportsperson? Come on guys, seriously, that is just illiterate! What is even worse is that leave alone celebrities (atleast they know who Mary Kom is, I doubt Kareena Kapoor would even know!) but some government officials and technocrats also came out tweeting "yay mary kom, congratssss...go indian women goo"....arey sunti ho, kya kar rahi ho, aaj whisky mein ice kam thi, andhi ho kya! And of course the all time worst was Arvind Kejriwal tweeting about it! Since when has this muppet cared about sports or for that matter - anything? "Jab hum dilli sarkar chala rahe the to 50 gold medal ka target tha, ab dekho sirf 8 gold medal aaye hain...mary kom ko bhi paisa khilane se mila hai...dharnaaaaa....anshannnnn"

What a desperate effort from everyone to eat footage and come across as proud Indians, pro sports and most importantly pro women achievements! This is the precise moment when one of those other 6 medal winners would think ki "koi na yaar, we are never getting famous, we are never going to get any sponsorship because srk says congrats to mary kom, flirts with priyanka chopra, funds an ipl cricket team - hum to chakhe hain! no point in playing and putting effort, agle saal to road pe aana hi hai, let's open a chai ki dukaan, atleast kuch income to hogi"

Anyway, for comic relief, watch the below link - Kareena is the new "Alia"


Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Gym - strategic tool

Most people who want to lose weight, either don't exercise at all OR over do it!
Though of course it is better to overdo it than not do it but what % of people overdo it vs not do it: i think 5% to 65% types ratio. So what do the rest 30% do? They exercise 3-4 times a week for about 40 minutes to an hour (mainly cardio or lifting some obscene amount of weights)

Now I was one of the people who used to gym 3-4 times a week and never seem to lose weight and then i struck this brilliant theory and tried it and did manage to lose weight!
The theory is that gym must be used as a strategic tool to create calorie deficit and not as a way to boost metabolism or increase muscle % etc etc bullsh%t which we read in various articles/books. That bullsh%t works only if you rigorously follow and scientifically do all that is written in fine front in those articles but 99% people can't really do it. They end up doing the straight forward cardio, light weights etc.

The thumb rule is not feel extra hungry when you are going to the gym. As soon as you start feeling that or you realise you are eating more than normal, you need to stop gyming and just concentrate on eating normal. This ofcourse works in totality if you stick to a definite number of calories everyday and maintain a deficit on it.

e.g. suppose you weight 75kgs and your goal is to reach 70kgs. The amount of calories you need to maintain the weight constant would be around 2000 with light activity (daily routine types). To cut 5kgs you need to basically create a deficit of about 30,000 to 35,000 calories and depending on what period of time you want to achieve it, you can eat accordingly. Suppose every second day you think you need to cheat by a bit, then you should use gym as that tool to create a buffer. If suppose you go to a party and you have 2-3 extra drinks, then you basically need to burn it out in gym to get back to the schedule. Idea is to gym to stick to calorie number and not gym for the sake of it and then hog away thinking that hunger is a result of the boosted metabolism and no matter how much you eat, it is getting burnt.

Try this and I am sure within a month you would start seeing the results. Also I have an extra theory for the slightly advanced which is called the "carb bank" theory. More later on that.


Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Arsenal - new season

So the new season is underway. Quite a slow start, i thought it would be exact opposite with couple of new players coming in. But the new players are proving to be pretty average except sanchez, he looks strong.

What is most striking is the number of injuries in just 10 matches so far in the season (out of a potential 50 plus). And yet again Wenger showed he is a genius or not. He thankfully only added to midfielders and not sold any. Ramsey, wilshere and arteta are gone for atleast 10 more games. I think 2 are blessing in disguise!

The best team for arsenal if everyone is fit is:
Scheszny- gk
Gibbs - lb
Mertesacker -cb
Kochielny -cb
Debuchy - lb
Ramsey - dm
Podolski - lf
Carzola - lm
Ozil - cm
Walcott - rf
Sanchez - cf

Now that debuchy is gone, obviously chambers replaces him.
Ramsey gets replaced by flamini
Walcott by Oxlade chamberlain

I think Chelsea is going to win the league this year comfortably with ManCity a distant 2nd. 3rd and 4th spots are open and though Arsenal might make it again in top 4, the distance from the winners keeps on increasing. They need to improve drastically on a few things-
1) Focal point striker - Giroud is replaced by Welbeck and I think both are muppets!
2) Why does Arsenal play more on right than on left? They need to make it more even
3) Set pieces - time and again I have mentioned this, they need a specialist free kick taker, corner taker. They just can't have dinkers lobbying the ball in the area with no bite /speed / accuracy on it!


Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Age old saying-

A friend in need is a friend indeed. I always thought that's an overstatement and rather lame. But i was wrong. It was a revelation this time. I was amazed by how people have reacted to me in this last 1 year. Like in every situation, they can be also be divided in 4 groups-

1) People whom I thought are friends, whom I expected to support me and ended up doing so as well - I was rather surprised by the low number here

2) People whom I thought are friends, whom I expected to support me BUT ended up not doing so - no surprises, this number was very high

3) People whom I never thought will help me BUT did - supplies!!! this number was very high and so reaffirming that people are so good. I will forever be indebted to them

4) People whom I never thought will help me and they didn't bother either - expected i can't just go about helping any tom, dick or harry that walks up to you

Number 2) and 3) got me thinking that I have been so wrong on my read of certain people (and my reads are rarely wrong!). I have decided that from now on I will constantly evaluate or rather be cognizant about which people are actually falling in which category from above and make sure that I spend the most time (allotted for my "friends" time) with people falling in 1) and 3).
Number 2)s have been such a big waste of time and have made me look so stupid. And of course I pledge my irrevocable and unconditional support to 1) and 3) if at all they ever need me (I hope not and I really hope they have better people than losers like me in their corner).

P.S. a shout out to my favorite number 1) my mom...i doubt she reads my blog but probably one day, I will make her read it and hope she will at last be proud of me. She is a rockstar.


Monday, 22 September 2014

What is common between Aishwarya Rai and me?

Our friends and friends of friends and their friends seem to bother a bit too much regarding our weight or rather overweight!

Seriously! and this started 3 years back when I was probably much leaner and lighter, this one particular female would always first ask me about my weight before she even said hi, how are you or any other kind of pleasantries. No matter after how long we met, or if i just came back from a broken hand or straight from my grave - the question / reaction would be "woah...suno...kitne mote ho gaye ho aap bygawddd...kuch exercise kar liya karo"

Not that I feel bad but seriously...i mean...kya hi boloon ab main...hum kya chakhe hain!!?


Friday, 19 September 2014

About Alex and me-

"About Alex" is the latest Hollywood movie I saw and really liked. No coincidence that it is about stuff which I really care about, feel strongly about or have written about.

The movie is about this guy who tries to commit suicide and then later bails on it but calls upon his college friends to give him support. 5 friends (obviously with history with each other) reach his place and everyone reacts the way they know to without really realizing that almost all of that reactions are stemming from that past history. The movie hits upon themes of closet homosexuality, casual sex, immature relationships in college, abuse of prescription drugs, depression, fear of commitment, professional failure, jealousy apart from suicide and friendship which are obvious ones given the plot.

I could relate to pretty much everything (i know what you are thinking - barring that one!) in this movie and I kind of have gone through all this already in my life through one form or the other.

Casual Sex - I vehemently recommend it, it takes away all inhibition from life. It takes away your license to judge and liberates you from any high moral grounds that you may be subjected to. Coming from a small city like Chandigarh where exposure is low and the concept of sex is still very "you have to do it with the chosen one", I had all these bullsh%t fundas of sex being the most powerful force blah blah. Then I met someone who was exact opposite of me and I realized how constricting these fundas are!

Immature Relationships - well i am quite immature so all my relationships are by default immature too. But yeah college ones were definitely insanely childish and imbecilic. The obsession, the reactions, the drama, the tension, the pseudo "seriousness" - now that I think of was of utter nonsensical proportions.

Abuse of prescription drugs, depression - the less said about this, the better...i was asked to remove this part

Fear of commitment - everyone has it, who doesn't. Especially at young age, who wants to commit? rather who even knows what commitment is? As opposed to what women think, it is to keep options open, it is not. It is to keep a level of detachment, it is a means to keep a level of casualness to something which otherwise spirals into mind bending epic waste of time.

Professional Failure - hahaha...hahahhaa...this i am a champion of! OMG! Those people who have never gone through failure in job / career / studies can never understand the intensity of the feelings which emerge when you have sustained, continuous, never ending professional failure. And can never fathom what it does to one's psyche, one's confidence, one's perspective to life.

I am getting bored writing this post because it just brings back such useless memories which I have tried so hard to forget. Anyway this was a great movie, i will definitely watch it again sometime.


Tuesday, 9 September 2014

I luv Jet Airways-

Most striking feature about Jet Airways compared to any other airline is the fact that they have their entertainment system switched on right from the word go. One doesn't have to wait till safety belt signs are switched on, then off, then on again and then off, then safety instructions, then more bullsh%t and then even more bullsh%t.

You can just take your seat, switch on a movie and relax. Not only does it keep you occupied, atleast I seem to mind less the minor delays in boarding and taking off of the flight. I think Cathay should definitely take cue from it, they have some of the most idiotic entertainment systems, atleast in their older flights and routes.


Saturday, 16 August 2014

Insights post Test #5 India vs England-

Before Martin Crowe yet again steals my ideas by reading this blog, let me put down a few things which are clear after just the Day 1 of Test #5:

1) Dhoni is by far the best wicket keeper batsman we have. Please do not confuse this with - he is the best captain we have. That is another thing all together

2) Gautam Gambhir's test match (and for all purposes, ODI) career is all but over, barring a miraculous 3 digit match saving score in 2nd innings. The bigger implication however of this is, there is no other senior player left who can be named as captain

3) Test matches are won by bowlers, you need to take 20 wickets and only then you can win the match. Second half of the series showed glimpses of decent team selection (so what if we didn't win the matches). Umesh Yadav needs to be tried out as well. Together with Aaron, Bhuvi, Shami and reluctantly Ishant, they are a decent bunch who if rotated well can form a semi-WI like quadret

4) Out of the current team, who can be left out? This is basically the all important question. Yeah everyone knows that changes need to be done but what changes?
Murali Vijay, Rahane, Dhoni, Bhuvi, Ishant (sadly), Aaron are the automatic choices (they can't be left out now as the explanation required will be a much greater pain). Need a new opener for sure. Pujara and Kohli form the toughest decision. Neither can be dropped BUT can neither be served a warning yet? I don't think they have yet reached the Sachin status, one of them needs to be told that much more is demanded out of them (I think Kohli deserves to be kicked - not just for poor batting but sloppy fielding as well)

5) Last but not the least - I have maintained this for a while now, India is always too focused on centuries, fast strike rates etc etc. Test match is not just about that. In a team where 7 people score ducks, what can a lone century do? what can a 150% strike rate achieve? You first need to score 200+ to give your bowlers some chance. You need traditional test match batsmen, who occupy crease, who atleast give someone a chance to score runs, blunt the opposition attack. That is where Dravid and Sachin were gods and that is why Binny, Rohit Sharma need to be taken out of the squad. They are not cut out for Test matches. You need people who prize their wickets, stay for 60 balls without scoring a run if need be.


Tuesday, 5 August 2014

One of the most bizarre things I came across-

is this -

I don't get shocked easily but this, kind of beats most of the random stuff I come across easily!
I knew some people are fkked up but this just demonstrates how an entire nation is allowing that fkkedupness (i don't even know if that is a word) to be sustained and doing nothing about it.

On a separate note, I read this book Wind Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami...strange book, as are all his books but this one turned to be a little way too long. What started with a rather interesting plot and a lot of similarity with my life turned out to be fkked up way too much and hence the mention here.


Monday, 28 July 2014

Smoking is injurious to health-

As I was watching this Hindi movie, "Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya", I yet again could not help but notice that whenever there is a smoking scene, there is a fine print below saying "Smoking is injurious to health". Why do we need that displayed every time? Once at the beginning of the movie should suffice. But no, the censors think that movies form a big part in influencing the Indian public opinion and it is very necessary to remind people again and again that smoking is bad.

By that logic, during every wrong act on the screen, there should be a fine print saying "violence is bad", "rape is bad", "eating too many hamburgers is bad", "watching TV from a close distance is bad" etc etc. That is complete bull sh%t. Why have they chosen smoking as the single most important thing to be pointed out on the screen as a bad thing?

Which brings me to this another super chutiatic statement from censors who have said that from now on there would be no beeping out of expletives from movies, instead the whole sentence would go mute. Logic being - beeping made people pay even more attention and lip reading gave away the abusive word easily. Beeping would not do that. ??!! Also from now on all scenes where women are being beaten up, raped or any other violence towards women OR any scenes where sex is being discussed will need to be toned down if not cut away entirely. So my question(s) is - what have men done wrong that they can be beaten up openly on screen??? woh bhi to insaan hain...unki izzat bhi to izzat hai...nahin? So men can go to hell basically? and what do censors plan to do about movies like Damini (national award winner) and Lajja etc? How do they plan to cinematically depict the themes on which these movies are based upon? I do think 2 flowers kissing, showing a tree move violently etc etc would be very entertaining but nonetheless not do the required job. Or do they want to do away with any hard hitting, topical, sensible movies completely and just want to promote Karan Johar kinda movies? and keep bringing the multiple academy awards we win every year?

Come on guys, seriously stop monitoring / censoring everything. Let the filmmakers be. Hardly make any good movies, whichever do - they have to deal with this crap. How will we get any hard hitting Korean murder mystery with lots of gore, blood, sex, drugs like Old Boy here in India then?

By the way - a part of me had new found respect for Indian censors after I read this:


Wednesday, 16 July 2014

The art of hiking-

Most friends I have like hiking and want to hike but are always afriad to do so citing fitness issues.

HK is a great place to hike, there are many marked trails with proper distance posts. I think an excuse like fitness is just too lame an excuse to miss out on all of these great trails (only valid excuses according to me are body injuries and good old fashioned laziness:)

There are only 3 necessary things required to complete mushkil se mushkil trail/hike and those are 1) enough water 2) some sugar, in any form but preferably solid 3) perspective / referencing.
A clarification: what kind of hikes are we talking about here - anything between 3km to 50km in distance and anything between 0mts to 2000mts in total ascent. Anything shorter,you should probably want to watch cartoon network for better use of time and anything longer/harder, you should skip to nat geo channel, they show how to tackle that monstrosity!

1) Enough water - this is most important and often underestimated. While you hike, forget everything, no distance, no tiredness, no thinking, no doubts on how you will do it. Just focus on drinking water, every 10 minutes you gotta drink 200ml. Aim is to pee every 2 hours. Yes correct, you have to pee. If you are not peeing in 2 hours means you are not hydrated enough, means the lactic acid is not getting flushed out, means you will get cramps and more importantly the body functions are not smooth. So drink water, the first pee is the tough one but you gotta reach it.

2) Sugar - this is different to food, for example if you take spinach with you instead of sugar, will that work? NO, that shit works only in popeye the sailor cartoon! You need sugar! Juices and fruits qualify but i usually prefer solids and in fruits eat something like bananas (instead of blueberries etc - you are here to hike, poker will come later!)
Sugar basically keeps the body from hitting the wall and keeps the mood upbeat. A very respected friend of mine used to try this technique where every 1km he would reward himself with something nice like a bite of chocolate or a toffee etc. I think this is a good technique.

3) Last but not the least, Perspective / referencing - sounds ambiguous and may be it is. May be i am not describing it correctly but what i mean here is that if say, you are going on a hike of 20kms, try getting a few important distance points for memory like the cemetery is midway (no double meaning intended here) or like there is a lake which comes at 5km, a bridge at 10km, a long ascent at around 15km and then last 2km is a flat patch till the end. Basically you need to know the layout of what is about to come. In HK where most trails are marked with distance posts, linear flat distance is fairly easy to reference but the difficulty comes in the vertical one! And that is where this point has so much importance. When you are out of breath, when your each and every body part is aching, when you are just exhausted, irritated ki kambkht kab khatam hogi yeh wali climb - and you see that tombstone on your right hand side, you will go AHAAAA bas iske baad to 2min hi bache hain, i know it ...why?...coz i read it online where it was written that it marks the end of the climb! Do that research and the above things and trust me, no hike is tough for you and no amount of fitness is less for you! Happy hiking :)

Special shout out for 4 people:
Suting Fu: i have the highest amount of respect for you, you are solid platinum of a guy. i learnt so much from you and i hope i paid it fwd and will keep doing so.

Archish: you are a stud, completing two - 250km runs is mind blastingly stud. my respect.

VJ: dude that 127 hours experience is still fresh in my mind, i would have died had that happened now! thank god i was ok then.

Garry Bhai: i miss our weekend hikes, you are my guide, my smart phone, my google map and my distance meter- only literally though :ppp


Tuesday, 15 July 2014

You want a bugati?

you want a lamborgini?
you better work bit*h!

I had actually not heard this song till i started following some k-pop songs. Now you will ask ki how do they have connection? Yun ki mujhe jyada bolne ki aadat to hai nahin but phir bhi main bata deta hoon...there is a korean girl dance group called "Waveya". They have performed on this song and i must say, done it rather well;)

Apart from being visually delightful, this song has actually a very straightfwd meaning and a pretty pertinent one for wella guys like me.


Monday, 14 July 2014

I am addicted to...

I have realised I am addicted to head and foot massages. No matter what time of the day it is, i keep longing for a head or a foot massage. And to top up the irritation, hk doesn't really have any Indian head massage places. They have foot massage but no head massage. They do have a thing called head and shoulder massage BUT it is crap. It is just super pressurized neck jamming, bone crunching shoulder blade massage. It sucks.

So to substitute, i found this ASMR videos on youtube. They are brilliant. And they not only are relaxing but also help with sleep. Anyone who has trouble sleeping, nightmare issues etc, should watch these. I strongly recommend these, put on your headphones for better effect.


Saturday, 12 July 2014

India vs England - 1st test

This is a substandard match with a substandard pitch, substandard umpiring and substandard team selection.

Either BCCI has given a lot of money to ECB or the England pitch curator has decided thst he solely would bring an end to Cook's captaincy - coz no other reason can justify or reason with such a stupid pitch straight up for the 1st test match.

The flat pitch is making India's 1st innings total look massive and gives false hope that may be finally the batting worries are over BUT a lot of it has to do with final wicket partnership and a middle order collapse would inadvertently be overlooked again. I actually fail to understand Binny's inclusion. The guy is average, not talented enough and frankly just not cut out for international level. He plays like Zimbabwe 12th man kind of technique and his stats over previous international matches and IPL (for that is a prime reason he has been selected) are fairly poor. He is neither upto mark as a bowler nor as a batsmen. Ashwin would have qualified as a better and more genuine all rounder. Either he, or Aaron or Gambhir would have made sense but Binny - for lack of better words is a bullshit selection. He btw has bowled a massive 5 overs out of the 100 bowled so far. hahaha

No DRS means more onus on umpires and here they are fkking up. First why the fkk does India have a choice to dink DRS for series? Just as a world cup or an ICC world event has DRS and everyone has to follow it, so does a test series should. It doesn't matter whether India objects to it. If tomorrow India wants 2 battings (or else they will take their bat ball and go home kinda scenario), would that be open to bilateral agreement?! If at all there are problems on consistency of results, get third umpire to use it instead of players using it. It makes an effective tool then and most importantly takes away howlers which we have seen half a dozen in the 3 days of this match. And the bigger problem I have is it is making Ishant Sharma look good despite idiot decisions.

This match could have very well been in Motera, India with domestic Indian umpires and standard of the match would remain same.

Come on la, get a swinging overseas pitch and let's see how these guys do.
Also may be too early to give an opinion but what is with slack fielding from Kohli. He drops way too many catches upfront close now and worst part is that no one bats an eyelid. Dhoni lets it go but that is just not done. India needs to breed standard slip fielders.


Monday, 7 July 2014

Best days of my life-

As my wife turns 32, i together with her had that same feeling of getting old (yeah this funda also works very similar to pregnancy weight!). And i can't help but think about my PEC days when life was so much easier and simpler and wonderful and easier and great and chilled out and...yeah...hmmmm

Everyday was pretty much the same for me...same routine and it was a great one...

I used to get up at the same time, i think 7-7:30 every morning ...take a guess by what...Thums Up! read it right...most people drink tea, coffee, even milk but i somehow (and the credit goes to my mom here) since class 10th have been waking up to Thums Up (and if Thums up is out of stock, then pepsi, coke, limca...there used to be no diet/coke zero in those days). Every morning she would bring me a glass of thums up with lot of ice and wake me up by tapping on my forehead (which i told her repeatedly to not do but...alas...). So i have literally "grown up" with Thums kidding...

Anyway i would reach college on time everyday...there hasn't been a day that i have got late...and i would report to electronics canteen (if summer season) or the Lipton Tea guy (if winter season) right on time...3 other guys reported with me everyday...the legendary Nikhil, the prim and proper Himanshu and the Jat Bhai Naresh. I miss you guys every month (i was about to write everyday but then that would have been weird!). I hope you guys are doing well, have lots of babies or are in the process of making lots of babies.

Now I thought the most brilliant thing about PEC was this canteen / verka booth...i mean it was just perfect...not just us 4...but almost the whole college used to report there every morning...some a little earlier than others but attendance was compulsory. It had strategic importance - it was equidistant from Girls' hotel, from the computer block, from the electrical block (that is where i was supposed to have my classes) and from the car park! So depending on whom one was stalking or running away from, it was pretty convenient! And mind you, it wasn't just about welapandi i have repeatedly said this, i was a small kid...height wise (just to clarify)...BUT only till PEC 1st year...because the amount of milk (cold coffees) and eggs (bread omelettes) that I have eaten while doing time pass at the canteen single handedly contributed to my growing into a 5'10  guy from a 4'10 tingu (i am lying, i am only 5'9 but i repeatedly lie about my height!)

Anyway moving on, once we have taken care of the morning attendance crap, the next task on hand was how to avoid attending the classes? There was a genius way that our grand seniors had come up with - it was called MC = mass cut. It meant that the class as a whole has decided not to attend the lecture and instead chill at the canteen. If the class is kind enough then they might tell the prof in charge about it or in most cases the prof can find it out himself when he walks into an empty classroom. I was in favour of the former - kuch to sharam honi chahiye but then i wasn't ever the CR (well not till the 4th year)  

This obviously went on till the break time (midway through the day). Rajma Chawal time! Boys Hostel used to have the yummiest food during lunchtime. Something on which hostelers used to laugh at me. They thought home food was better - i guess a classic case of grass is greener on the other side. I till date can't really eat home food much. A special mention here to my 3 sponsors at the mess - Shivang, dude i hope you have managed to gain weight coz if you haven't then what was a difference of 10kg then will now be a difference of 30kg between us. Kapil, I hope you succeeded in getting those chana and gudd (jaggery) to work on your hair and they are now black, long and dark as my future. And last BUT not the least - Manish aka Bhaiyaji, hair were soft...ofcourse in a non gay sense...i am married whatever feelings I had have anyway been crushed! :)

Post the lunch was Table Tennis time in the "common room". My 10 minutes of exercise for the whole day. I wasn't much good at it but whatever, not that there were any girls around to impress.

2nd half of the day - we would have run out of excuses to put more MCs so yeah we attended a few lectures. But some of those lectures were just an "insult fest". Yup, prof insulting you. Especially the lecture by Madari sir (yes respect...he was a teacher after all). So i have personally been called the following verbatim - most of which i found funny except 1-    
- Tu to peon hai, teri mentality hi peon wali hai...last bench pe tu baithta hai, novel tu padhta hai...kitaab tere paas ek nahin hai
- Abe hain kaun tu...ambani hai tu? tata hai tu? birla hai tu? tu hai kaun...jab tak in mein se kuch ban na jaye, tab tak mooh mat khol..sirf kaam kar
- Terrorist hai tu...tune poori class ka atmosphere kharab kar rakha hai...Tu CR hai na...teri baat class sunti hai and tu unhe galat malat baatein batata hai...koi placement nahin hone doonga main
- Sau programme likhe liya tu mere kamre mein aaj shaam ko...Sir kaunse program?  Peon hai tu...kaunse kya...bas likh la 100 program..addition, subtraction, alag alag bana ke le aa
But the one on which he actually kinda did hurt me was -
- Arey paas tu ho nahin raha hai...job teri lag nahin rahi hai...IIM etc mein kya hona hai tera...tu bas 75% attendance poori kar le wahi bahut hai...

Koi na...moving on, for the most part this was entertaining, we had a great laugh on this - more than anything, imitating him in front of my mom dad, relatives, friends was redemption enough...I was HANDS DOWN the best imitator of Madari Sir...I openly challenge anyone.

Post the college time, we assembled at Verka booth - more milk, mango ice cream, samose etc etc....All required coz it was time for cricket. Now since I had already exercised my 10 minutes of the day during lunch time, I usually volunteered to be the wicket keeper coz neither did I want to run nor was I interested in doing anything useful. EXCEPT i thought i am the Ganguly of the team - the i would usually shepherd around "my" team, set them for fielding etc...not that anyone cared but then since when have I cared that anyone is listening to me or not.

Cricket over - time to burn some fuel and more importantly precious time. Gedi route!!! A long stretch of traffic light less road which had women colleges on either side...Aasmaan mein....tuaaan tuaaan....laakhon taareeee....tuaan tuaaann...Now i was not really from a rich family but somehow my mom dad ensured that every morning my wallet was filled with enough cash for petrol, cold coffees and samosas. I didn't have, to be honest, any expensive tastes...i mean how much money can you burn on Re 1 samosas...even if you go ape shit one day and eat 10 more - it is what...a mere Rs 10 difference so i guess my parents didn't really have much of a chance to distrust me...anyway coming back to the Gedi route...CHK 6838 i miss you so so so much...that was my beloved camel colored brown maruti 800...i hope you are safe and sound in panchkula...

Post the Gedi route, since I had no friends except the 3 mentioned right at top, it was time for back home...which suited me perfectly...coz now started the welapandi of epic proportions...i always knew i had the talent to watch movies but this was like my net practice sachin batting during off time to hone his skills...this was my off time...except i didn't have any real matches to play :))) i would watch tv starting from 6pm to 3 am...every day...non top, without fail, without batting an pe movie, cricket pe cricket, cartoon pe cartoon, tareekh pe tareekh! At that time there was no HBO so only Star movies and I used to finish the full seasons within the 1st month! I would know each and every stat on cricket, tennis and soccer (well Nikhil used to know that 1 extra fact than me so he would kick my ass but yeah others i could take on with my eyes shut)

Dinner time was the usual - my mom dad were happy that i would imitate Madari Sir, they were happy with the fact that I was alive...they didn't really care much about grades, about how much welapandi i did. Meanwhile i would have another couple of glasses of undiluted, full sugar strength Thums Up by this time. My average daily intake of carbonated drinks (and by that, i don't mean sparkling water) was 1 Litre. No shit. These are real numbers and can be verified by calling up any of my relatives on mom's side.

There was no internet (or atleast not at my house) and no cell phones at that the whole evening was TV, telling stories to mom or playing hand cricket in my living room.

At 3AM, more out of boredom than exhaustion (I was already an insomniac by 3rd year), I would finally go to sleep, all ready, excited and mentally alert for the coming day! :)

Ofcourse no welapandi is ever complete without Drugs, Alcohol and Women. While I would elaborate on the first 2 in some other post, I must say women played an integral part in my 4 years. Though I recently got 2 pieces of bad news (bad for me, good for them) and i am very hurt - the 2 loves of my life (the 2 real ones amongst the many loves) have got married and i didn't even get a call! cheeee cheeee....kya gum hai jo itna muskra rahe ho...kya gum hai jise chupa rahe ho....after obsessing for 10 years, this is what i get...i didn't even get to drink a bottle of bacardi in depression...what a waste! :)

Now that was some life. I frankly don't have a great ending to this post except :))))




Saturday, 5 July 2014

Getting cancer has only upside-

Lately I have heard a lot of cases where someone's relatives / friends / acquaintances etc have had cancer but made full recovery. As much as it is unfortunate, I am of the opinion that it is the toughest on the family members (more so on mom dads than siblings) and the person whose had it has actually just cracked jackpot. Now this sounds insane, most people will think the guy has lost it etc etc but I have thought a lot about it, I still stick to my opinion.

The person who has it has 2 potential outcomes: he lives or he dies. If he dies, then voila! jackpot...he has done his time and now is chilling peacefully because what can be tougher than living further in this bad harsh world. If he lives - then bad luck (my sympathies) BUT he will forever be called "hero", "survivor", "tough guy", "this is the guy who beat death" etc etc and will forever be looked at with sympathy, get extra favors/chances/opportunities AND can always convert his/her mediocre life into a full fleshed propaganda through writing books on his life, giving advice how to fight cancer get the drift.

I frankly think - he ain't the hero, the real hero is the doctor who saved him, science or the medicine behind is real hero. He had to just sit there and get the treatment. Yeah yeah i know some people say "But he had to keep the will to keep surviving"...bullsh%t...even if he didn't keep the will, would his family have let him die? how does an unwillingness to live actually translate into action? does he commit suicide? coz if he does - then voila - jackpot! he is free from this life...and if he doesn't (99% people don't) then whether he is willing or unwilling, whether he was a fighter or not, whether he was tough or not...ain't matter...the doctor will save him! SO who is the real hero?

Now comes the survivor part, the tough guy part - that again is the family, the people who would have been left behind if he would have died...coz frankly they are the people who will suffer, miss him the most while he would be chilling somewhere sipping on bacardis! (assuming heaven and hell both serve liquor with no age criteria) It is the family which pushes themselves, their resources, their hope quotient, their morale to survive. SO who is the real survivor?

Look at this example - again would sound blasphemy for many people but i don't care. Yuvraj Singh.
He had cancer, recovered and is having the time of his life! He got a comeback in India test team on back of it (if he can survive cancer, he can survive English swing bowlers macha! what are you talking...most definitely can...). He got a comeback in India T20 team for the world cup (if he can survive cancer, he sure can kick Malinga's ass macha...what are you talking...he will hit 6 six's again...). He got a new life in IPL where he got signed for Bangalore as the highest paid (if he can survive cancer, he can survive IPL macha...what are you way he won't score run on domestic way...).

Having cancer ain't bad...surviving it might be tough luck BUT it is still better than having nothing!


God is being cruel-

Federer has reached wimbeldon final...and he is looking good!
If he wins this, there is no argument left that he is the greatest. And most certainly Nadal can't catch him. He has at the very max, another 6 grand slams left on him, to win 4 out of those is impossible.
I have been anti Federer for a while now, more for his weeping than him losing but damnit he has stopped crying only! I am so going to have to eat my words and i hate that.
But would I prefer Novak to win then?
most certainly not. he is the most mediocre rank 1 in tennis since marcello rios! i really don't think he is very good and though he might stop federer from another grand slam title, i would prefer he doesn't.
If only somehow this wimbeldon final gets washed off and no one is declared a winner. If only somehow everyone from fourth round onwards who has won all slams and olympic gold gets declated a winner!
If only...fkkk if only....nadal pull up your socks instead of pulling up those wedgies!


Thursday, 3 July 2014

Korean movies are way ahead -

I can't say that I have started following Korean movies lately because i haven't. I started following them 3 years back! Now i am kind of done with them. I am left hugely impressed and mind you I am a very very tough critic. The plots, screenplays, editing, action sequences, dialogues, curses - just about everything about them is fantastic!

BUT what is sad is that Bollywood keeps copying them and keeps makeing a hash of these movies...the best example is Zinda (copied from Old Boy) o man....what a gang rape on the Korean movie...sanjay gupta destroyed Old Boy...

Anyway - my recommendation for the uninitiated for the best Korean movies-
Old Boy
Memories of Murder
Joint Security Area
My Sassy Girl
Miracle in Cell No. 7

Next set can include-
I saw the Devil
Lade Vengeance
Man from Nowhere
Bittersweet Life
New World

The first set of movies is...simply put...mind blasting!


Wednesday, 2 July 2014

West Indies - still the same issues!

I have been following West Indies cricket for more than 20 years now, they infact are my favorites. From the age of 10 when I was barely 3ft tall, I have been trying to copy and bowl like Curtly Ambrose (I was pretty fast in my earlier days and I mean express pace, not chummi fast!). Everyone knows the team has gone down, cricket is in tatters etc etc but this last series against NZ sums it up, I haven't seen more things wrong about a team since ...i cant even think of an example!

1) Batting coach is Stuart Williams - are you kidding me? On one side you have the great Ambrose as the bowling consultant and then you have Williams as the batting one? seriously? The guy could barely bat himself, averages in poor numbers and was at best tier-2 opener. Why have him? Where are Hooper, Jimmy Adams, Sherwin Campbell (even he would be better than Williams)? I am assuming Lara has said "fkk off" to these guy already else he is an obvious choice. I think the logic that you don't necessarily have to be great player yourself to be a great coach might work for the Head Coach position (Otis Gibson in this case) but it definitely DOES NOT work for the specialist position consultants. Imagine Sidhu being the fielding coach of India?

2) The captain - Ramdin. Why is he the captain? For lack of any other senior players? Where is DJ Bravo (the ODI captain)? Ramdin till last year was in pathetic batting form and himself not sure of his position in the side, now we have him as a permanent fixture. Silly - and to top it, he himself is not sure whether he can handle it. Extremely defensive and supremely bad team selection

3) Suniel Narine - This was the height of ullu ka pathapan that selectors did. He played the IPL final and was late by 1 day in reaching back, he missed the deadline. So he was told he will be omitted for the full test series. Why? What part of IPL schedule did WI selectors not know? IPL is already approved by various boards, the schedules are public knowledge, Kolkatta reaching final was public news, and more importantly didn't just happen out of the blue - everyone could see they are in top 4, won the 1st qualifier so are in finals. Even if he did get omitted for the 1st test, what is the point of omitting him for all 3?

4) Shillingford - He needs to go and practice a new variation, his doosra is banned and frankly he sucks at best! His inclusion in last test single handedly defeated WI. Instead of him, there should have been a batsman and NO i don't want to see Blackwood. Bring back DJ Bravo, Sarwan etc. Dink out Edwards, Gayle, Shillingford.

Bowling is actually looking good after a while, they need to get Fido Edwards also back fit and these 3 : Roach, Taylor and Edwards can actually do well together with Narine and Benn.

Ideal Test team should look like this -
Braithwaite, Blackwood, Darren Bravo, Sarwan, Chanderpaul, DJ Bravo, Ramdin, Narine, Roach, Taylor, Edwards
Also Chanderpaul is almost on his way out, so there is a huge hole waiting to be exposed there - Gayle should be brought down the order (same issue as Sehwag i think, he has no technique at the top!)

I really hope to see a Test Match in Jamaica one day and more importantly WI will win that day and not get thrashed!


Saturday, 21 June 2014

This soccer WC is a joke!

Teams are getting knocked out after losing 2 matches?! For 4 years of wait, for playing those lousy friendlies and for playing that extremely long qualifying round of matches - they get knocked out for losing 2 matches?

The domestic leagues are so much more entertaining and more importantly more intense. But why blame the WC...this should be expected with a faulty format.

Why would a team show it's true potential when they have barely played with each other on a regular basis and when the whole shenanigan begins 2 years in advance (i mean the stupid qualifying format).

I think instead the WC year should begin from Jan 1 of that year and be played throughout the year in a league format involving top 30 teams (each team will play all the remaining ones). It atleast gives a much more fair assessment of the teams and is a more reliable take on which team is the best international team in the world.  

If logistically it is not possible, then make it possible. If not every week matches, then make them play in bunches of 2-3 matches a week in every 4 weeks (domestic league and champions league fixtures should revolve around it for that year. As for the sidey less important cups, manager should get bigger squads - no one cares about FA cups, carling cups etc anyway!)

It also takes into account the whole regional bias in group formations and the number of slots that each continent gets etc (for 2014 - sweden hasn't qualified for the finals but iran has!? yeah seriously...i think zlatan alone can run circles around iran and kick their arse). There needs to be a better selection of teams for finals. 

Also those players who get injured just before the WC during the so called practice matches, miss out on the most important dream they have as a soccer player. Not only that, just look at this scenario - Jack Wilshere who plays for England and is uber van persie style made out of paper type sensitive and prone to injury. So he doesn't play many of the qualifying rounds coz he is injured. Then Arsenal, the club he plays for cribs that he got injured anyway in one of the "international friendlies" but still get him to rehab, make him stronger, get him to match fitness for him to break his foot bone again in one of the friendlies (by this time England has already qualified!). Anyway, the England manager obviously wants him fit and be ready so what does Arsenal do? - they rest him despite him being fit towards the end of the season so that he can play for England - fair enuf. World Cup comes...he is fit...but isn't chosen in the playing squad?!...England is out in 2 matches...he is fit but didn't play for any! And this is a story not with just 1 player...So many got injured in the practice matches before the WC many top class players in the world were missing.


Sunday, 27 April 2014


IPL started this week and I think it was a great idea to have the initial phase in UAE. Sharjah matches in the good old days used to be brilliant and were the absolute peak of India- Pakistan rivalry on a neutral ground.

I actually also think that Lalit Modi was a genius (given he came up with the concept of IPL). It has done wonders for India and Indian sports on many fronts-
-India cricket ODI team and T20 team achieving rank 1 can be attributed to some extent to IPL, including the 2 World cups in last 6 years and 1 final
-So many more players now get visibility and more importantly some money to earn a living
-Other sports have started imbibing this concept, i saw IBL (Badminton league), it was fantastic - seriously! Am hearing now soccer league is getting launched (hockey, bike racing etc already exist i heard)
-Other countries have copy catted the concept (atleast in cricket) - Big Bash, South Africa, Carribean League etc
-So many older players, who now will not make it to national team ever (and rightly so) like Ashish Nehra etc still get a chance to play, fade away the glory, make a living and not just disappear in the ignominy of being forgotten (which is btw a huge keeda with India critics that how come we don't take care of our older athletes who had served our country etc etc)
-So many stadiums, umpires, pitch curators, support staff etc get employment who otherwise based on exclusive India cricket scene was would have never got any chance

I mean there are so many pros that you can't even count let's come to the cons now...why is IPL bad for India? (i actually don't think it is bad at all)
From sporting logic-
-It is destroying the technique among players? - how so? it is one of the 3 formats played and IPL results should be used for selection for T20 and at the very max for ODI teams...simple! don't select players in Test team based on it. It is selectors fault and not IPL's that muppets like Yuvraj Singh and Rohit Sharma keep getting picked up for Test teams and keep failing!

From Arbit logic-
-It promotes match fixing??? how the fkk so? Just because insider trading can happen in stock markets, doesn't mean you do away with stocks / stock trading all together...right? you need to curb that insider trading. Same way, match fixing needs to be stopped, get proper checks in place, it isn't ILP's fault
-It is commercializing the sport? so the problem being? Oh i want sportsmen to be social workers right? you want them to fight for the country and not bother about making a living? That is what Bishan Bedi wants...i kind of agree (NOTTT) he is a moron and so is this logic. There is no problem with commercialization, whoever has the money, is spending it to buy a team...their wish!
By the way, I think if at all, you want to combine these together, there is a simple solution to be achieved- I propose the following:
BCCI should pass a new regulation which makes the IPL franchises to invest 25% of their annual salary they pay to their roster of players into a ranji zone. Divide the country into 4-5 zones (North, South, East, West and Central or watever). Based on how each franchise finishes in rankings the previous year, they get to choose a zone and invest. If suppose Chennai Super Kings have decided to pay in total $20mm annually to players, they will put $5mm for a zone of their choice additionally (and these obviously throws back the responsibility to BCCI to use this money for the proper development of Test Match grass root cricket). This not ensures more money flowing into the so called "actual technical" old school test match cricket development but also ensures that franchises will try to keep the annual salary lowest as possible because they know it will have an additional impact. Now franchises have become a shareholder in country's sport development and hence the commercialization should not be an issue?!


Friday, 18 April 2014

Another post on Arsenal-

So now that the season is about to come to a close and everyone (various websites, fans, news channels, press conferences etc) has started discussing how Arsenal has seemed to miss the plot again and might go trophy less for another season and finish out of the top 4 (so no champion league spot), I think Arsenal actually did well given the circumstances.

They didn't do what Liverpool might do but they are so much better off than say Man United, Spurs, Man City and the likes (Chelsea can get included in that list btw). As i wrote in my last post, the season basically got decided by injuries to Walcott and Ramsey (add Wilshere, Ozil to that list towards the end) and the season is practically over.

For the coming season, I think Arsenal (and hopefully Arsene Wenger) need to do a few things according to me which will improve them dramatically-
1) Go for an out and out striker - Rudd Van Nistelroy types, a poacher, someone who can get those obvious goals which Giroud misses time and again
2) Play a 4-4-2 formation. The defense looks fine now with Mertesacker and Laurent, they don't always need Arteta sitting in front of them, especially given the fact that guys like Wilshere and Rosicky more often than not are not that creative but try to keep the ball longer and play possession game. If at all Arteta and Flamini should be used as substitutes to consolidate during winning positions. Podolski and Walcott have proved that they both are more than worthy to be central strikers and much better than Giroud in terms of conversion rate%
3) Buy a dead ball specialist. Seriously! Enough of those really silly dinky corners and free kicks from Cazorla and Ozil. They are never a threat and should be used much better
4) This one is I think may be not so obvious but some substitutions look stupid to me, they come way too late. The "paper" boys need to be protected more I think - Walcott, Ramsey, Wilshere have a history to get injured so why use them over especially when you are winning by a margin!

Liverpool - They might win the league this year which is great achievement but the credit goes to Suarez who singlehandedly won them the league. And guess which player did Arsene Wenger put fight in the beginning of the season?! Even if they don't, they will qualify for UCL spot which is good, hopefully keeps ManU out

Chelsea - They haven't won anything yet, they might win both UCL and the league but frankly even if they don't, they have Jose Mourinho. That guy has a hand of gold, he is like Dhoni, whatever he touches turns into gold. He is also tactically a genius, they were my pick at the start of the season to win the league

ManCity - They won the league cup (who cares!) and will NOT win the league. Again a mix of injury (Aguero) factor and just plain stupidity, but makes Arsenal look not so bad!

ManU - hahaha...kat gaya unka to is saal. RV Persie went missing, Rooney extracted the maximum he could in terms of his pay cheque, they are in DEEP SHIT!

Arsenal - can turn into a disaster of a season (according to pundits) if they finish outside top 4 and not win FA cup, but if they achieve both THEN it is just superb!

Spurs, Everton - not worth discussing unless Everton finish 4th

Now which brings me to a rather important point - when people go gaga about not winning a trophy, I think it is SILLY! League cup and FA cup are a joke. Who cares about them? What do they do? Do they bring $$$ - no, do they bring a bump up in league position - no, do they qualify you for a better league - no! then why is it important to win those random trophies? and here is what i suggest-
-Play the winner of the league cup against FA cup and who ever wins, bump up their league i.e. If a Championship side wins, bump them up to premier league and the bottom 4 are relegated
-If a league 1 side wins, bump them up to Championship and same as above
-If a premier league side wins then, in case they are not in top 4 (UCL spots), they play a playoff against the 4th rank for the last spot and the 4th place side bumps down to Europa league

I think what this will achieve is a massive change in the sides some of the top clubs field in some of these competitions. Also for a winner like Wigan (who won FA cup last year beating ManCity last year in final and semi final this year), they could have a chance of staying up in the premier league which has huge financial implications. They are right now 5th in Championship and might miss the cut again this year btw to reach premier league which is just silly tbh!



Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Why should Yuvraj play 2015 World Cup...

If he is not in form???
I don't understand the logic behind people saying that given he has won us so many matches (i differ on that too btw) and given he was Man of the Series of 2011 World Cup, he is an automatic selection. (Man of the series is not necessarily the guy who has won you the most number of matches NOR the guy who was the most outstanding in any one department. It is simply a score calculated based on aggregate runs, wickets taken and catches taken/runouts - it is a good parameter to gauge the importance of a player but certainly by no means makes that person indispensable)

By this logic, following are automatic selections-
Kapil Dev - he won us our first World Cup
Gavaskar - he is the best opener after Sachin
Sehwag - he is opener with highest strike rate
Sachin - no words needed, he is the highest everything in World Cups from being the highest run getter in World cups, most centuries in World Cups etc etc
And the list can go on and on. My point being - past performance can't be the only criteria for team selection. Current form by far should be the biggest factor. I didn't understand the logic behind him being recalled for T20 World cup when he was dropped for NZ series and Asia cup (after miserable series at home and at South Africa)

I also want to state 2 things in very black and white here:
1) He most definitely is responsible for India losing the final of T20 worldcup last week and should be blamed for it
2) However his selection for ODI World cup 2015 should be made on basis of what his form is in next one year and not on his past success (i think even by that factor, it is very average success)

As far as throwing stones at his house goes, that is just plain stupid. He isn't even there FYI, so what is the point?! You want to hurt his mother, father? If at all you want to throw stones at his house, it should be for the his father's performance in the movie Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. Here is a list of all his movies, it is enough comic relief for you to take a chill pill-
  • Batwara (1983) ... Jarnail
  • Yaar Gareeban Daa (1986)
  • Jatt Tey Zameen (1987) ... Sucha
  • Qurbani Jatt Di (1990) ... Jora
  • Dushmani Di Agg (1990) ... She
  • Anakh Jattan Di (1991) ... Sheroo
  • Jorr Jatt Da (1991) ... Zaildar Zora
  • Badla Jatti Da (1991) ... Jaildar Jang Singh
  • Jagga Daku (1991) ... Jagga Daku
  • Insaaf (1992)
  • Insaaf Ki Devi (1992)
  • Jatt Punjab Daa (1992) ... Balwant
  • Jidd Jattan Di (1992) ... Jawra
  • Lalkara Jatti Da (1993) ... Dulla
  • Sali Adhi Gharwali (1993)
  • Mehndi Sagna Di (1993)
  • Kudi Canada Di (1993)
  • Jatt Sucha Singh Surma (1993)
  • Insaf Punjab Da (1993) ... Dulla/Jangirdar (Double role)
  • Jora Jatt (1994)
  • Kachehri (1994)
  • Vairi (1994)
  • Jigra Jatt Da (1994)
  • Vichhora (1994) ... Deep
  • Lalkare Sheran De (1994) ... Shera
  • Subedar (1995)
  • Kabza (1995) ... Surjit
  • Zakhmi Jagirdar (1995) ... Uday Singh/Shera (Double Role)
  • Nain Preeto De (1995) ... Pratap Singh
  • Vichhoda (1996)
  • Tera Mera Pyar (1996)
  • Mahaul Theek Hai (1998)
  • Sikandera (2001) ... Sheru
  • Shreeman Chanakya (2004)
  • West Is West (2010)
  • Teen Thay Bhai (2011) ... Khetarpal Singh
  • Oye Hoye Pyar Ho Gaya (2013)
  • Bhaag Milkha Bhaag (2013) 2nd Coach of Milkha Singh
  • Heer and Hero (2013)
  • Romeo Ranjha (2014)