Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Life turning event-

I saw the movie "Happy New Year" yesterday. I can't believe a movie can be this powerful and have such a great mix of entertainment and social message built in it. I watch a lot of movies and this easily beats hands down every movie I have ever seen in my life.

Logically consistent, brilliantly acted and slickly edited, what more can one ask for when watching a movie! I don't want to be a movie spoiler here, so let's just say you guys can read this for a better idea-

This movie has changed my life like "My cousin vinny" did 20 years back in Chandigarh. Easily one of the best lawyer / courtroom movies I have seen or which exist (they are one and the same thing!)


Thursday, 23 October 2014

Yet again...

Arsene Wenger uses a 4-1-4-1 formation against a team which they can easily beat or rather "should" easily beat. How can formation be same against Chelsea, Man City, Anderlecht and Hull City??? Please explain me...they are 4 different types of team and Arsenal plays with the same formation against everyone. I am beginning to lose my patience with their sh%t.

Last minute goals save Arsenal again and guess who scored? Podolski! I in my previous post mentioned it too that Podolski has one of the highest goals/appearances ratio in the Arsenal squad. He should play every time on the left wing or in 4-4-2 formation.

Now that Ozil is out injured too BUT Ramsey and Walcott are back, (Walcott is semi back i guess, I strongly suspect he will be used only as a substitute for next 5 -10 matches) the team should be:
Rosiscky - yes use him as a DM instead of Arteta or Flamini (Flamini is actually doing a good job but he is too defensive, doesn't link up play forward at all)
Podolski - he can be substituted by Oxlade if needed
Welbeck - he should most definitely be substituted by Walcott. I would start Walcott in case he is fit

Wilshere should be on bench every match, each day, each time. He is an over rated player and does not produce any assists / goals to make a case for his inclusion.


Monday, 20 October 2014

New definition of being good-

I use the phrase "this guy is a good guy" a lot! and by a lot, i really mean a lot. Infact I always pass a judgement on whomever I meet and I invariably share that with my wife.

She always has either of these 2 reactions - thinks I am being judgmental OR everyone is good / no one is bad. To this I in turn always have the same reaction back again (Physics 2nd law was infact my favorite law in science!) - judgmental my a$$, I think it is a profound waste of time if one is being politically correct all the time or being non-judgmental OR I keep quiet with nothing to say back on the "everyone is good" theory.

I thought a lot about it. I know everyone can't be good. I know for sure that it is impossible that no one is bad. And then I think I found a definition of my "good". I realized that age old definition of being good has no place for empathy, gives no points for being aware of one's surroundings and reacting according to them or for that matter to any sensitivity. Somewhere so many people are still stuck with a thought that if you are not causing any physical pain to anyone or deliberately causing any mental anxiety to anyone, you are being good. And I think NO, IT IS NOT ENOUGH to be good. (Please to take note here, in no way am I construing that I am good under my new definition, I most certainly am not). The above things only make you "not bad" and not "good". There is a difference in being "not bad" and being "good".

A dog can sit on a road, chill out and mind his own business, not bite anyone, not bark - does that make it good? Increasingly I have come across people who want to be just "not bad". They have no clue what is happening around them. They don't care. I definitely want to be more than "not bad". I want to be a "good" guy - that is the least I expect out of myself.


Thursday, 16 October 2014

Project Rosie-

Read this book last night - in one sitting...fairly interesting and more importantly a very easy read. Picked it up because Bill Gates mentioned it in his 9 most important books to read (I have no clue why??!)

Couple of things which struck me as I was reading it were-
1) The book will have sequels - a big turn off!
2) It is a rom - com kinda book which reminds you of the movie "As good as it gets" right from the word go BUT the book mentions that movie in it so I assume the book has been inspired from the movie and not vice versa
3) The book has 2 distinct halves - first which is very coherent and makes sense and a second which goes on a bollywoodish track and not consistent with the characters laid out in the first half

My favorite line / joke from the book is-
Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: "Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really piss me off!


Saturday, 11 October 2014

Another injury-

in the Arsenal camp. What a disaster this time! Mesut Ozil gone for 12 weeks atleast. There is something wrong with the medical team at Arsenal. How come these guys get injured so much at Arsenal?

I am not hopeful on the 4th place anymore. The January transfer window can't seem to come any sooner, we need atleast 3 more players now - 1 central defender, 1 central attacking midfielder (Cazorla is not enough) and 1 striker (Danny Welbeck can't score to save his life!)

Which brings me to this another thing I read - Arsene Wenger keeps on repeating that he has enough attacking midfielders in the form of Ozil, Ramsey, Wilshere, Carzola and Oxlade. Fair enough but then why is Rosiscky not getting named in this list? If he is not an attacking midfielder then what the fuck is he? A defensive one? Ok, if he is a defensive one then doesn't it solve a huge problem at Arsenal? Why is he not getting played at the holding fielder position when Arteta is injured?? Why is Flamini getting played? (I actually think he is better than both of them).

Instead Wenger keeps on saying that he will convert Diaby into a holding midfielder??!! Why is there a need to do that? If anything, Diaby needs to be sold now and done with that chapter once and for all. Diaby is not his son or brother or anything, I don't understand, why is Arsene taking it as a personal challenge to bring him back into the team?

There are atleast 5 people in the current squad which are there to just make up numbers. Except Walcott who is coming back from injury, I doubt people like Gnabry etc can bring any real value. Yes they might make up the playing XI but so can the reserve team. Who will score the goals??!!


Friday, 10 October 2014

What is patience?

It is the license you give others to act increasingly stupid, unreasonable and unintelligent. The most distinct characteristic about patience is that it has no absoluteness attached to it. It is only as good as your last displayed act of impatience. It is like the Sobriety counter you get at Alcoholics Anonymous. As you progress, with each passing day, year, you keep getting a new counter which states that you are 1 week sober, 1 year sober, 15 years sober BUT the day you lose control and drink alcohol, you start with the 1 day sober counter again!

You will invariably be reduced to their level by a stupid person and then beaten through experience!


Thursday, 9 October 2014

Why is Dhoni not made to retire from T20 internationals?

When India won the ODI world cup in 2011, all eyes were on Sachin and he was expected to retire. When he didn't, there was so much criticism that he is playing for personal milestones and not thinking about the greater good of Indian team etc. That was despite being the leading ODI scorer for Indian team during that phase from 2011 - 2013 when he did retire (if anything he should have retired from test matches before he did from ODIs according to me!)

Anyway main point being - now that T20 world cup is over, why is Dhoni still playing T20 internationally? What is he adding to the team? He is if anything blocking 2 spots for a future Indian team - 1) that of a wicket keeper  and more importantly 2) that of a captain.
I think, he should be asked to step down and selectors should give other people a chance whom he would like to see in T20 WC in 2016 and ODI WC in 2019 (for wicket keeper - saha, dinesh kartik, robin uthappa and for captain - virat kohli, suresh raina rather reluctantly rohit sharma).
Why is there no criticism of Dhoni when he is doing a "Sachin"???

Different yardsticks for different people.


Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Chetan Bhagat-

Met him yesterday near IFC 2 in HongKong, told him he is doing a good job. He was actually surprised that people recognize him hahaha...I wasn't expecting that, I thought he would be all airy like Sushmita Sen!

He does write entertaining stuff and frankly he should get credit for the last 3-4 watchable hindi movies to come out : 3 Idiots, Kai Po Che, 2 States, Kick (yes, he wrote that screenplay) BUT his books are not "keepable" category. I am carrying out this cleaning operation at home and his books were the first ones to be put down in the "donation" list. He is yet not in the same league as Yann Martel / Vikram Seth OR his books need to have a pseuder book cover!


Monday, 6 October 2014

Personality type and the responsibility it brings-

This post, more than anything is a test of my grammar and of how well am I able to put my thoughts down coherently in a post, as that is a constant criticism from one of my rather anal readers!

So for long, I have thought about this topic, struggled with the consequences of this syndrome and have gradually wanted to change / grade off certain characteristics in my personality. Before I come to reasons for wanting to change and the consequences, I would like to tell the background of the problem.

I don't know when it all started but somehow I have been put in a very definitive personality type box by all my friends, family (excluding mother) and my wife (yes family is different than wife - separate post on that). They all think I am this very bubbly guy, happy, comic, always cracking jokes type, slightly sarcastic and one who doesn't take things to heart kinds. I have no fucking clue why they think that because out of all the above, the only thing that mildly resonates with reality is that I am sarcastic, not mildly but full blown 100% asshole certified sarcastic. Rest is a lie. May be back in college days, when i wanted to be popular among girls, i might have invented a few stories or cracked some jokes (after all most women in their "top 5 qualities they look in a guy" start with "sense of humour"...hahaha...what bullshit) but other than that, i don't remember when have i shown bubbliness or happiness or whatever. If anything, my mother thinks i am a fucking psycho and need professional help. 

Now the consequences are extremely tiresome, frustrating and making me go deeper into this problem. Every time I meet my friends, they expect me to be happy, no matter what shit my life is going through, no matter how my mood is, no matter anything. It is the same expectation - "mayura...kuch sunao...we luv your jokes" and I always think in my mind - "abey kyu...main koi kapil sharma hoon?! i am sad, seriously just let me have a drink, smoke up and stay sad...i want to stay depressed...plz". There is barely a time when I am in a social gathering and I can have a quiet drink, eat my food, just soak up the entertainment (if any!) for a change.

But the bigger problem has just hit me, now no one needs to tell me to crack jokes or tell stories or prompt me to be happy. Then you would wonder, where is the problem? The problem is that now I have gone on an auto pilot where my trigger reaction on seeing anyone is to light up, tell a story and be entertaining - but somewhere that is not me. Somewhere I am ignoring the bigger issues in my life , it is bringing a certain casualness in my approach to life and that is leading me slowly down a road which has LOSER written all over it. I am so engrossed all the time in my head inventing new jokes, stories to entertain people, family, wife that I have forgotten that entertainment is a secondary aspect of life. I am not SRK or Tom Cruise that i need to entertain people...I need to fix my life and let everything else go to hell.

The responsibility of my perceived personality is weighing me down and I am getting increasingly worried about the consequences that are staring me in my face.

Funny or rather worrying shit of the day-

There is something wrong about this statement. I found it funny and then worrying. In case you are getting curious about what's new in the statement, I am NOT on the girl's side here. Figure it out.
And this does bring me to a topic on which I have wanted to write for a very long time - section 304A and 498B of the Indian penal code or the Dowry Law! More later on that.


Saturday, 4 October 2014

Team set up for tomorrow-

Arsenal is playing Chelsea tomorrow. In all likelyhood, it will be an Arsenal bashing UNLESS they use the 2 holding midfielder formation. I think the team set up should be:
Chambers  Mertesacker Kochlieny Gibbs
            Rosicky                          Flamini
    Oxlade    Ozil        Wilshere       Sanchez

Substitutes should be:
Oxlade or Rosicky gives place to Monreal in case left looks open.
Wilshere gives place to Cazorla in case offensive looks less penetrating.
Welbeck gives place to Podolski for better finishing.

Please just use 2 holding midfielders! Plzzz


Friday, 3 October 2014

Hum kya chakhe hain??!

Mary Kom wins the 7th gold medal for India in the ongoing Asian games. Great...well done!

Dozens of celebrities congratulated her on that feat and did not mention any of the 6 people prior to Mary who won gold. Poor...not done!

Woh 6 log kya chakhe hain? or is it that your knowledge of Indian sportsmen is limited to the latest hindi movie released on a sportsperson? Come on guys, seriously, that is just illiterate! What is even worse is that leave alone celebrities (atleast they know who Mary Kom is, I doubt Kareena Kapoor would even know!) but some government officials and technocrats also came out tweeting "yay mary kom, congratssss...go indian women goo"....arey sunti ho, kya kar rahi ho, aaj whisky mein ice kam thi, andhi ho kya! And of course the all time worst was Arvind Kejriwal tweeting about it! Since when has this muppet cared about sports or for that matter - anything? "Jab hum dilli sarkar chala rahe the to 50 gold medal ka target tha, ab dekho sirf 8 gold medal aaye hain...mary kom ko bhi paisa khilane se mila hai...dharnaaaaa....anshannnnn"

What a desperate effort from everyone to eat footage and come across as proud Indians, pro sports and most importantly pro women achievements! This is the precise moment when one of those other 6 medal winners would think ki "koi na yaar, we are never getting famous, we are never going to get any sponsorship because srk says congrats to mary kom, flirts with priyanka chopra, funds an ipl cricket team - hum to chakhe hain! no point in playing and putting effort, agle saal to road pe aana hi hai, let's open a chai ki dukaan, atleast kuch income to hogi"

Anyway, for comic relief, watch the below link - Kareena is the new "Alia"


Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Gym - strategic tool

Most people who want to lose weight, either don't exercise at all OR over do it!
Though of course it is better to overdo it than not do it but what % of people overdo it vs not do it: i think 5% to 65% types ratio. So what do the rest 30% do? They exercise 3-4 times a week for about 40 minutes to an hour (mainly cardio or lifting some obscene amount of weights)

Now I was one of the people who used to gym 3-4 times a week and never seem to lose weight and then i struck this brilliant theory and tried it and did manage to lose weight!
The theory is that gym must be used as a strategic tool to create calorie deficit and not as a way to boost metabolism or increase muscle % etc etc bullsh%t which we read in various articles/books. That bullsh%t works only if you rigorously follow and scientifically do all that is written in fine front in those articles but 99% people can't really do it. They end up doing the straight forward cardio, light weights etc.

The thumb rule is not feel extra hungry when you are going to the gym. As soon as you start feeling that or you realise you are eating more than normal, you need to stop gyming and just concentrate on eating normal. This ofcourse works in totality if you stick to a definite number of calories everyday and maintain a deficit on it.

e.g. suppose you weight 75kgs and your goal is to reach 70kgs. The amount of calories you need to maintain the weight constant would be around 2000 with light activity (daily routine types). To cut 5kgs you need to basically create a deficit of about 30,000 to 35,000 calories and depending on what period of time you want to achieve it, you can eat accordingly. Suppose every second day you think you need to cheat by a bit, then you should use gym as that tool to create a buffer. If suppose you go to a party and you have 2-3 extra drinks, then you basically need to burn it out in gym to get back to the schedule. Idea is to gym to stick to calorie number and not gym for the sake of it and then hog away thinking that hunger is a result of the boosted metabolism and no matter how much you eat, it is getting burnt.

Try this and I am sure within a month you would start seeing the results. Also I have an extra theory for the slightly advanced which is called the "carb bank" theory. More later on that.