Sunday, 11 January 2009

Pigeon vs Peacock...

Before I even start this post, 3 ppl mentioned in the post apart from me are real life and have been some of my very few good friends. If you read this, the post is only for being funny and coz I met two of you very recently and remembered this incident. Don't get mad please :)

This is a story of 4 friends, all from Electrical Deptt 04 batch:

Himanshu: Army background, pseud bugger. He had interests and hobbies in Military Aviation and other such nonsense. He could talk only in English and had an heavy UK accent. He would greet parents with Hello Maam, Sir...extremely scared of his dad (we would often see semi wet stained jeans the next day in college). He was fondly called scooby-doo, you can imagine why.

Nikhil: Akshay Khanna of Dil Chahta Hai. Spoke less. Would generally consider a time waste to argue with ppl. Had only 1 line quips which were super funny and make the other person person feel ashamed of their wits. Had rock solid opinions (though never expressed) and almost knew everything to know on this planet

Naresh: (he is the main protagonist of the story) Jat Bhai from Jind Haryana, pehlwan budhi. Could think only in terms of violence, isko uthwa dein, hamari jaan pehchan hai, koi problem hai to batao. Funny guy and he had a special relationship (not the Dostana kinds...well at that time we didn't know dostana) with Nikhil of the kind where both could only irritate each other and end of arguing where obviously Nikhil won 100% times

Mayur: 4th guy. The dorky weird walk style fellow whose nose size was often the butt of their jokes. Perenial bored expression on his face and the often running nose reduced what he thought was his dynamite style of dressing

Lecture: BioMedical, Prof: Madari, Lecture just started, first lecture in the morning

Backbench, 4 frnds sitting. Naresh had his lunch already open, gobi ki sabzi. Himanshu desperately trying to get me and Nikhil shut up and not discuss Roy Keane's greatness (only guy Nikhil respects in the whole world)

Madari: (super nasal voice) Nikammo, 4 khote last bench wale subah subah tum log bak bak kar rahe ho. Attendance short kar doon. 74.5% pe atka doonga, yahin reh jayegi tumhari degree. Peon mantality hai tumhari. incorrigible fools...chal 4 sawaal kar do zara assignment ke liye...

Naresh: Peacock...Peacock....(loudly)

Mayur: ??????
Nikhil: Peacock????
Himanshu: Peacock??????!!!
Everyone: Where Where??!!??

Naresh points. Silence......

Nikhil: Falls off the bench laughing...Naresh: confused...starts getting irritated
Mayur: Saale, pigeon hai yeh...peacock!!!!
Himanshu: puzzled, had an expression "i don't believe i am associated with these morons"
Nikhil: Naresh yaar sparrow hi bol deta, peacock!!!
Everyone: laughing, hysterical

Madari: amused but no he had to do his usual dialogue baazi. Nikamme, yeh tak to tujhe pata nahin hai. Engineer kya khaak banega. Naukri kaise lagi teri, sifarish lagayi hogi tune zaroor!

Naresh: embarassed, tries to hide below the desk (atleast so what we thought). Comes out with a bang carrying his helmet and bammmm there goes a dislocated shoulder for Nikhil! looking at Himanshu and me. whom to hit next. Nikhil still laughing, pisses Naresh off even more. One more shot from gadhadhari bhim on to Nikhil.

Nikhil: Acha chod na, kyun gussa ho raha hai. Chal let't eat your lunch "Ladyfinger".

Naresh: doesn't react.

Nikhil looks at me, and at Himanshu: Oh sh&t he does think it is ladyfinger. Dude!!! :D :D more smiles from all of us

Himanshu: Brinjal, let's eat brinjal.

Naresh: realising, it is neither and wtf is it called. he definitely needs a crash course on vegetables together with birds and animals. even more pissed off.

Lecture over. Naresh still very hurt by the fact that "class ki ladkiyon ke aage nahin banta tha yaar yeh, dosti mein alag baat hai but bhai ki izzat tumne class mein utaar di)

Nikhil: Comes up with a brilliant idea. How abt we just revise all these in the canteen today so that it never happens again. Shoots a glance to Himanshu and Mayur. Himanshu amused, good time pass. Nikhil grinning.
Naresh: innocently, ok yes done hai.

Canteen: 4 cold coffees and 3 extremely sincere profs and 1 innocent student

Nikhil: Ok let's start with vegetables. bhindi?
Naresh: Ladyfinger ofcourse( thought time 1 second)....kya baat kar di yaar...bhai ko kya yeh bhi nahin pata hoga

Nikhil: baigan:
Naresh: brinjal (thought time 2 seconds)...btw turnip kya hota hai phir?
Himanshu: ??? hmmm he doesn't know the hindi name
Nikhil: shalgam bccc...looks at Himanshu: angrez ki aulaad...missile ke siwai kuch aur bhi pata hai tujhko!

Naresh: tum jyada hero ban rahe ho, lemme ask a few...ghiya..Nikhil: gourd (thought time 1.2 milisecond)...Naresh: petha...Nikhil: pumpkin (thought time 2 milisecond)...Naresh: Karela...

Nikhil: hmmm hamare ghar mein nahin banta hai!
Naresh: bc peacock to jaise tum log roz hi padte ho!...phat gayi ab...

Himanshu: bitter his UK accent
Naresh: ok now comes the real test...saunf ko kya bolte hain?
Himanshu: Fenugreek (thought time 0.1 milisecond)...smugg...Naresh: whatttt...impressed...
Jai himanshu baba...Jai himanshu baba...
Himanshu: dehatiyon agar bakwaas khatam ho gayi ho to samosa kha ke aayein...

We have never had more fun. I miss you guys. Met with Nikhil and Naresh last week in Delhi.

Just as update on the 4 guys:

Himanshu: In Atlanta, working for an IT firm. Is still pseud, is still puppy and last heard greeted the strippers at strip bar with "Hello Maam, hwo are you doing...pleasure is all mine"

Naresh: Working with a financial services firm in Delhi. FYI writes only all English mails and has tamed down on his violent streak

Nikhil: Working with Samsung in Delhi. Still taking Naresh's case on peacocks and sparrows. Still only talks with witty one liners shredding you to bare bones. Still supporting the damn ManU club

Mayur: Working in HK. Still has that bored expression though smiling today writing this. Still has a running long nose BUT moth$%fkkers now my walk has improved :D


Saturday, 10 January 2009


International Airport @ Delhi

Mayur: why are my flights always delayed. That too not by an hour or so, but by atleast 3-4 hours minimum.

Mom: :) u crib a lot. Why don't you make urself useful for a change and get a coffee for me.

Mayur: ok, for a change i will surprise you by getting it for u. blackberry and cell phone both fall out of pockets. arghhhhh there goes the battery. Control hindi abuses for now. Mom is thr. Koi na, fkkkkkkk is allowed.

Mom: make sure u take some time and don't come back for 15-20 minutes

Airport Announcement: Flight to Dubai is ready for boarding from gate 6

Mayur: phir cheeni kam hai. why don't these ppl realise a coffee is supposed to be khade chamach style (for all NRI quota passouts, it means that coffee has so much sugar that you can put a spoon in it and it can just stand in it)

Two ppl approach us. Extremely shady, one couldn't see from his one eye and almost deaf. Other one couldn't read and spoke some random language (definitely not out of hindi, bihari, bhaiya style, or anything that i have ever heard) ...deadly combo duo...

Gives me his boarding pass. Hmmm and...he just keeps looking at me. Ok got it, you want to know where are you going?

Illeterate guy (IG): Has an expression of you stupid ofcourse I know where I am going (Dubai), I just want to know which gate it is :D (so much for his over-confident expression I know where I am going)

Mayur: Gate 1 likha hai.

IG: Where is it, I can't find it. Rather what is "1"?!?!

Mayur: points towards gate 1

Semi-Blind guy (SBG): Thanks, Thanks...

Mom: wasn't the announcement for gate 6 for Dubai flight, you told them wrong. There they are, run after them and show them the right one, else they never gonna get it.

Mayur: arghhhhh i thought only saurabh singh was the fkk up king. i am getting influenced

Airport Announcement: Dubai jaane wali flight ab udaan ke liye tayar hai. etc etc ...boarding announcement

Mayur: HK ki flight ke liye bhi kardo announcement bhaiya ab! bc! mc!
Points towards gate 6.

Thanku Thanku...even the attitude guy smiling. Woah...he does have bad teeth...

Mayur: am sure these ppl going for wonder they are so keen on getting thr. Must be a huge difference from what they make here in India. Badhiya MS didn't pay a thing this much for being the whitest of the white shoe bank on wall street...Deepika Padukone kya lag rahi hai yaar Chandini Chowk to China mein...

Mom: i heard Akshay Kumar and Deepika are there in HK for their movie promotion Chandini Chowk to China

Mayur: which movie is this?!?!?!? what random sh^t these bollywood ppl make i tell u...and oh ho Deepika haan...first name basis pe naam lete ho aap uska...padosi hi to hai aapki bangalore mein :p (Deepika is in hk!!! and she didn't even meeet me?!?!) u wishhhhh

Airport Announcement: Last and final boarding announcement for flight to Dubai

IG and SBG: Approach again with their passport this time. Again looking at me.

Mayur: Hmmm What happened now?

IG: Pointing at 1 passport without a stamp and 1 with stamp

Mayur: ECNR stamp not thr, points towards the policeman sitting in the corner

IG and SBG: reluctant to go, look at me (looks at me. plz do something)

Airprot Announcement: Last and final boarding call for Dubai flight

Mayur: I think ECNR might not be even required but just check from that police guy

IG and SBG: give a polite smile, walk towards the police guy

Fat Police guy: Having a khada chamach coffee!!!!

Mayur: how the fkk did he get extra sugar...whatever...back to work from is going to be so boring...atleast Delhi was less boring. Hk is less cold, 1 gud point.
I have to get my hands on some latest gossip from round of cuts coming soon...and yeah Deepika is going to pay this time for not meeting me yet again...

Police Guy and IG/SBG arguing. Police guy tears up the bagage stamps, keeps boarding passes, asks them to get passport stamped again from emmigration

Mom: they already had emmigration stamp, why did u not tell them ki their passports are just fine. Look now they wil miss their flights

Mayur: hmmm ek aur fkkk up...i wasn't sure hence i sent them...kaand ho gaya...

Airport Announcement: Gate 6 dwar ab band kar diya gaya hai.

Mayur: sh^%es...mannn these guys really wantedto go...that was an oppurtunity for them of a lifetime...they could have earned a lot fkkk...when will this credit crisis gets over, correlation trading ka koi future nahin raha...time to change desks...i better be promoted this year else...they better promote me next year....

So much for being educated...shameful...

Good Luck Chuck Syndrome

Should start with an increasingly common trend hitting HK dating scene. Good Luck Chuck Syndrome.

A girl likes you, is with you/dates u/obsesses with u. But then invariably leaves you and ends up finding her true 'love' in the very next guy she dates and ends up marrying him quickly. Tareekh pe tareekh...girl after girl...

Extremely interesting syndrome, considering 2 of my very gud friends are hit with this. One has a cult women fan following together with their chote chote multinational kids :)

Rambling on...saw Hum Dil Chuke Sanam 19th time (courtesy pids). The freaking ba$%ard gifted me with the dvd on my bday, extremely thoughful dude. I think the movie is greatest tragedy of all times arguably. It is the quintessential hope of a happy ending and finally the bridge scene that makes it so sad.

My target is to watch atleast 25 times by end of chinese new year (deliberately set myself easy an target, have some other movies to complete 10 times too).