Wednesday, 26 November 2014

26/11 Anniversary

So today was the anniversary of the Mumbai terrorist attacks and I was recalling how I was right in the middle of it (well not in Oberoi or Taj but another hotel).

I was on a biz trip and when I was at the airport, news had started coming in already that there is something wrong with the flights to India and there would be a delay to all Mumbai flights. I remember I never thought at the time that it was due to something so major, I thought this was yet another Indian Airport related fkkup. So as the flight delayed even more, people actually inquired more and it was pretty evident what was the cause.

I was caught in 2 minds, whether I should just cancel the trip or just go ahead because as I always think "mujh jaise rakshas ladke ko kabhi kuch nahin ho sakta hai". I ended going ahead with the trip purely due to 1 reason. I was ball-less at that time (still the case!). I was worried about what my then boss would say and think so poorly of me (yes, he definitely would never thing that it is a genuine reason to cancel a trip!).

So the whole flight is pretty uneventful except the fact that I was getting worried that how would I go from airport to my hotel?! I doubt any cabs etc would be available. I checked my ticket, thankfully there was a pickup listed. But you never know, the hotel guys might say, fkk this guy, who cares...unlike me the driver might have the guts to value his life!

Anyway, I land, pickup is there with my name card! I sit, I try to chat the driver up if it is safe to go etc, he was like over confident "haan haan - koi vanda nahin, woh sab south mumbai mein ho raha hai, apun to highway pe hai, beech mein hai yeh hotel".
Ok...if he says so. The roads were empty, so his optimism wasn't being shared by many people i guess. Anyway about 1km from the hotel, there was a huge police barrier and they stopped up. Made me get out, checked my hotel tickets, luggage, there was a sniffer dog who was looking rather tired. The police then tell the cab driver to get lost. I was like what?!! Then what will I do. I have this luggage and I had no clue how far is the hotel (I later got to know it was around 1km). Police guy said, ok on your way, go on...walk...pointing me towards the direction.

I start walking...couple of guys were ahead of me at 400m types distance but otherwise it was an empty road at 11pm at night. I was thinking, I need a set of balls now, enough....I can't be dying in Mumbai of all the places!

Anyway I reach the hotel, operations were even tighter. Multiple dogs, security checks, no concierge. I guess all the five star hotels were in lock down mode. Anyway I checked in, reached my hotel, locked it etc...So then I thought, ok let's tub a bit. Chill, let's have a beer and sit in the tub. So as I am doing that, I hear a loud banging noise on my door. I ignored, rather I was too engrossed in my tubbing. Again, even louder banging. This time it was fkking scary. I was like "gaye beta...mara lo...KSML types...ok let me atleast wear some clothes". So i go to he door in that bath robe kinda thingie, shout out "who is it". No reply but just constant banging. I was like khol deta hoon before they shoot me! I open up and what do I find - 2 police guys and that sniffer son of a bitch again. I was like "fkk u guys, you gave me a heart attack....why didn't you answer when I asked who is it" They are like it is standard protocol, will happen in every 4 hours so be prepared.

It went the whole day, I was mostly hotel restricted, had only a couple of meetings and then returned. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life after trying to snorkel in Andaman!


Sunday, 16 November 2014

Watching cricket is no more fun-

The game has become too one sided in favor of the batsmen. Even miscued shots go for six because of extremely short boundaries and those huge heavy 2 inch thick bats. Bowlers are basically reduced to necessities because without them the game can't be played else they might not even exist.

Something has to change. Either the bats need to return to the older weight/built and the boundaries need to be longer. At least ensure that a shot which wasn't middled properly gets caught out instead of sailing over for six!


Give the bowlers a choice as well on which balls they can choose etc. Like batsmen choose their own bats with different weight, thickness long handle/short handle etc, bowlers should be open to choose between red/white, how many overs old etc. There has to be some advantage given to them sooner than later to make it fairer else it is just a slug/slog fest.


Wednesday, 12 November 2014

New Interest - Astrology

Have started following / reading / watching a lot of lectures on Astrology. Not surprisingly, it makes a lot of sense and quite surprisingly I am actually able to do a bit of reading myself now. I plan to take this up much more seriously but anyone who has no hesitations in sharing their Date of birth, Place of Birth and Time of Birth with me, I can get back to you with a reading (I guess more practice for me and free of charge, sensible and useful commentary for you)


The next level of weight loss-

Given so many people read my first post "how to lose 350gms weight every week", I thought I should release my next theory which will fine tune the concept further.

It is essentially based around the fact that gymming needs to be used as a strategic tool rather than as an everyday / routine kind of activity. Our body has a carbohydrate bank (henceforth it will be referred to as CB in the post for my convenience) at any given point of time. The weight gain happens because the energy that the body is burning is far lesser than the energy stored in this CB. Now one thing needs to be mentioned here which is very important: CB is different than Fat and Protein calories. Eating equal amount of calories from Protein, Fat and Carbs leads to unequal weight gain (proven scientifically). The order of weight gain is Protein < Fat < Carbs.

Coming back to the point - so to lose weight, essentially one needs to keep CB in check (ideally 0 but that of course is not possible). The way to keep CB in check is to either eat no carbs or to exercise off the carbs every time you add any out of the ordinary amounts into your CB. Now here comes my revolutionary mind blowing theory. Our body has a hidden amount of CB energy. What does it mean? It is a concept similar to - why does steam at 100 degrees cause more burns than boiling water at exactly the same temperature? it is because steam contains some hidden heat which is called "latent" heat. Similarly, our body has a latent CB, so every time one decides to lose weight or start exercising, one does not see any weight loss for the first 2 weeks despite gymming our asses off! Because during those 2 weeks, the body is just burning that latent CB. Meanwhile due to gymming everyday, one feels more hungry (metabolism fastens up temporarily), eats more thinking that no harm in eating more because we gymmed today and the faster metabolism will burn it. It is here that the mistake lies in gymming everyday as routine - it just never lets the CB come down due to continuous extra eating and because one never flushes out the latent CB in the first place!

Solution - decide on a Saturday (of course after praying to the mighty lord of Saturn) that you want to lose weight in next 3-4 months. On that Saturday, don't do halka phulka mickey mouse exercises. Do a proper rigorous 2 hour cardio session and please for god's sake don't have any recovery drinks / snacks for muscle building or whatever bullshit you might have read (that stuff is for recovery of pro-soccer players...are you one? NO you are NOT). Rest for 5-6 hours and then go for a long walk, for some cycling, hiking...remember the aim is to bring that latent CB down to 0 before you can march on the path of weight loss.
Now comes Sunday, you would be feeling drained, YES great, that is a symptom of being on the right track. If you have a spring in your step on Sunday then that means your CB is huge and you need to work harder! Sunday you basically repeat what you did on Saturday. If not rigorous gymming, then basically go for a long hike. Key for these 2 days is not to add to any stuff to CB (so no recovery bars, energy bars, no bananas, no chocolates, no fruit juices, no desserts etc etc, you get the drift!) Just eat normal food, 3 times a day.

Now that CB is flushed, latent energy bank is at minimum, you basically have to keep calorie intake in check and that's it. DON'T gym unless you have cheated in your calorie intake through Carbs. If you went out drinking one night, then your goal is to burn those off within the next 24 hours. If you had 1 drink, then gym for 15 minutes. If you had 5 drinks, then you need to gym for an hour. If you had 10 then...join alcoholic anonymous, you have far more serious issues than weight problems!
You went out for an elaborate dinner coupled with desserts, you need to work out for an hour and a half. You have been sticking to the controlled diet, eating a good mix of proteins and fats with very less Carbs then you DON'T have to gym. I mean it, please do not jack up your metabolism temporarily which will end up making you eat more afterwards. Use the gym as a strategic tool to keep CB in check only.



Friday, 7 November 2014

Why would Sachin do this?

This whole Sachin Tendulkar autobiography excerpts which have come out - it is so typical Sachin. I am not impressed with this sh%t. When he was in the team, he used to never come on record or take responsibility for anything meaningful, now suddenly he is opening secrets, talking on selective issues and expressing an "expert" opinion. His whole funda of proxy captaincy, running subtle hints from behind the scenes and "influencing" team members is a smart tactic but not my kind of thing. He is the greatest ODI batsman and top 3 Test batsmen ever without a doubt but he has had 2-3 pretty huge gaps in his list of achievements. The biggest according to me was his inability to perform together with captaincy. No one has shied away from captaincy and refused it as blatantly as Sachin in the modern history of the game - which is fine, he has his priorities set BUT it should take away his ability to run the team and proxy influencing it as well.

1) Most talked about Greg Chappell issue - he never spoke about it during that time, now suddenly he has an incident to come out with?! Either be Ganguly who took that guy head on right during his stint or be like Dravid who didn't speak then, nor wants to comment on it now

2) Kapil being a disappointment as a coach - again - what crap! why not give that feedback then so that next set of coaches are picked accordingly etc?

3) No comments on match fixing because I don't know enough - hahahaha seriously? it was happening all around you. Couple of your team mates were allegedly right in the thick of it and you have no comments?

4) Showing Ian Chappell the size of the mirror because you have played more tests than him - fair enough, how come you didn't have the balls to say this then in any interview?

I really like Sachin but all this autobiography nonsense just dilutes his brand - he was a solid, less talk, more action guy who was focused on one and only one thing, how to score the maximum amount of runs for India (mind you - not how to make India win). This image is getting hurt by all this post retirement stuff (he anyway fkked up a lot in his last couple of years pre-retirement). The lowest points of his playing career have been refusing captaincy time and again, his 100th hundred against Bangladesh and getting his 200th test fixed against West Indies at home. The lowest points of his non playing career have been selling that Ferrari which he got as a gift (after India customs let go off the excise duties!) and now this autobiography.



I dream of...

bowling off spin bowling everyday these days...i mean literally. It is a recurring dream for the past 6 months where I see myself in Indian colors, bowling off-spin bowling every match - both in ODIs and Test Matches.

I am frankly quite disappointed with this dream (it is a notch up from the nightmares i get) but I have always found off-spin bowling feminine. Not that there is anything wrong in that but I just don't see myself as an off-spinner. Playing for India and all is ok, but come on not off-spin. I was a fine batsman mind you in my younger days. Wouldn't say I was Sachin but could have given a combo of Dravid and Ganguly a run for their money at 1-down / opener position (versatile you see, my name was Mayur "versatile" Aggarwal). I had that immense desire to not give away my wicket and was able to bat for many hours at a time not necessarily scoring many runs (whatever runs were scored were through the off side with glorious cover drives reminding many people of Lara). So much so that I used to get 2 battings due to my immense talent but I strongly suspect because I used to own the wickets and the bat and most importantly the ball :)

Anyway coming back to the point of off-spin (I have this bad habit of digressing - my only real flaw). So i am balling ball after ball, lame, insipid off-spin bowling and the worst part is that I haven't yet taken a wicket in 6 months. I come, ball and then get hit for runs - only saving grace is that noone has hit me yet for a six! I wonder if this has to do anything with my real life - aimless, pointless "off-spin" bowling for last 7.5 years. Come on God, give me a chance as an opener (i prefer to be at the non striking end :) or as a 1 down. Ok, if not batting, atleast let me bowl fast bowling dude, seriously! Ok if not even fast bowling then my next preference is leg spin and if not even that then I want to apply for the wicket-keeper position because I ain't fkking running around anymore doing fielding and bowling stupid off-spin!


Thursday, 6 November 2014

Everyone is a -

son/daughter of their parents. Of their mother and father. And no matter how much they want to be different from them, no matter how much certain qualities you don't want to inherit, no matter so many qualities that you want to bring which are missing in them, you will always remain their child and turn out like them. There is no escaping.

I come across so many people everyday especially my own generation who are intelligent (in the true sense, no sarcasm) and so aware. They can compartmentalize the qualities of their parents into good, bad, neutral so well BUT when it comes down to shaping their own personalities, deep down under, when push comes to shove, when pressure is high, when that moment which counts the most, comes in front of them - they always show their true colors, the colors of their parents.


Monday, 3 November 2014

What kind of women should...

one have in their lives?

Someone who is constantly trying to change you, make you supposedly "better", sets the bar higher everyday testing your patience, your "respect" for women? So much so that it is exhausting to meet the newly set bar?


Someone who always agrees with whatever you think/do and then uses that as a tool to free ride in getting baby-sit, doesn't challenge you in getting better, rising above your otherwise mediocre standards and almost is aloof to the point of being dissociated with the reality of your pathetic existence?

I wonder...everyday...