Monday, 7 July 2014

Best days of my life-

As my wife turns 32, i together with her had that same feeling of getting old (yeah this funda also works very similar to pregnancy weight!). And i can't help but think about my PEC days when life was so much easier and simpler and wonderful and easier and great and chilled out and...yeah...hmmmm

Everyday was pretty much the same for me...same routine and it was a great one...

I used to get up at the same time, i think 7-7:30 every morning ...take a guess by what...Thums Up! read it right...most people drink tea, coffee, even milk but i somehow (and the credit goes to my mom here) since class 10th have been waking up to Thums Up (and if Thums up is out of stock, then pepsi, coke, limca...there used to be no diet/coke zero in those days). Every morning she would bring me a glass of thums up with lot of ice and wake me up by tapping on my forehead (which i told her repeatedly to not do but...alas...). So i have literally "grown up" with Thums kidding...

Anyway i would reach college on time everyday...there hasn't been a day that i have got late...and i would report to electronics canteen (if summer season) or the Lipton Tea guy (if winter season) right on time...3 other guys reported with me everyday...the legendary Nikhil, the prim and proper Himanshu and the Jat Bhai Naresh. I miss you guys every month (i was about to write everyday but then that would have been weird!). I hope you guys are doing well, have lots of babies or are in the process of making lots of babies.

Now I thought the most brilliant thing about PEC was this canteen / verka booth...i mean it was just perfect...not just us 4...but almost the whole college used to report there every morning...some a little earlier than others but attendance was compulsory. It had strategic importance - it was equidistant from Girls' hotel, from the computer block, from the electrical block (that is where i was supposed to have my classes) and from the car park! So depending on whom one was stalking or running away from, it was pretty convenient! And mind you, it wasn't just about welapandi i have repeatedly said this, i was a small kid...height wise (just to clarify)...BUT only till PEC 1st year...because the amount of milk (cold coffees) and eggs (bread omelettes) that I have eaten while doing time pass at the canteen single handedly contributed to my growing into a 5'10  guy from a 4'10 tingu (i am lying, i am only 5'9 but i repeatedly lie about my height!)

Anyway moving on, once we have taken care of the morning attendance crap, the next task on hand was how to avoid attending the classes? There was a genius way that our grand seniors had come up with - it was called MC = mass cut. It meant that the class as a whole has decided not to attend the lecture and instead chill at the canteen. If the class is kind enough then they might tell the prof in charge about it or in most cases the prof can find it out himself when he walks into an empty classroom. I was in favour of the former - kuch to sharam honi chahiye but then i wasn't ever the CR (well not till the 4th year)  

This obviously went on till the break time (midway through the day). Rajma Chawal time! Boys Hostel used to have the yummiest food during lunchtime. Something on which hostelers used to laugh at me. They thought home food was better - i guess a classic case of grass is greener on the other side. I till date can't really eat home food much. A special mention here to my 3 sponsors at the mess - Shivang, dude i hope you have managed to gain weight coz if you haven't then what was a difference of 10kg then will now be a difference of 30kg between us. Kapil, I hope you succeeded in getting those chana and gudd (jaggery) to work on your hair and they are now black, long and dark as my future. And last BUT not the least - Manish aka Bhaiyaji, hair were soft...ofcourse in a non gay sense...i am married whatever feelings I had have anyway been crushed! :)

Post the lunch was Table Tennis time in the "common room". My 10 minutes of exercise for the whole day. I wasn't much good at it but whatever, not that there were any girls around to impress.

2nd half of the day - we would have run out of excuses to put more MCs so yeah we attended a few lectures. But some of those lectures were just an "insult fest". Yup, prof insulting you. Especially the lecture by Madari sir (yes respect...he was a teacher after all). So i have personally been called the following verbatim - most of which i found funny except 1-    
- Tu to peon hai, teri mentality hi peon wali hai...last bench pe tu baithta hai, novel tu padhta hai...kitaab tere paas ek nahin hai
- Abe hain kaun tu...ambani hai tu? tata hai tu? birla hai tu? tu hai kaun...jab tak in mein se kuch ban na jaye, tab tak mooh mat khol..sirf kaam kar
- Terrorist hai tu...tune poori class ka atmosphere kharab kar rakha hai...Tu CR hai na...teri baat class sunti hai and tu unhe galat malat baatein batata hai...koi placement nahin hone doonga main
- Sau programme likhe liya tu mere kamre mein aaj shaam ko...Sir kaunse program?  Peon hai tu...kaunse kya...bas likh la 100 program..addition, subtraction, alag alag bana ke le aa
But the one on which he actually kinda did hurt me was -
- Arey paas tu ho nahin raha hai...job teri lag nahin rahi hai...IIM etc mein kya hona hai tera...tu bas 75% attendance poori kar le wahi bahut hai...

Koi na...moving on, for the most part this was entertaining, we had a great laugh on this - more than anything, imitating him in front of my mom dad, relatives, friends was redemption enough...I was HANDS DOWN the best imitator of Madari Sir...I openly challenge anyone.

Post the college time, we assembled at Verka booth - more milk, mango ice cream, samose etc etc....All required coz it was time for cricket. Now since I had already exercised my 10 minutes of the day during lunch time, I usually volunteered to be the wicket keeper coz neither did I want to run nor was I interested in doing anything useful. EXCEPT i thought i am the Ganguly of the team - the i would usually shepherd around "my" team, set them for fielding etc...not that anyone cared but then since when have I cared that anyone is listening to me or not.

Cricket over - time to burn some fuel and more importantly precious time. Gedi route!!! A long stretch of traffic light less road which had women colleges on either side...Aasmaan mein....tuaaan tuaaan....laakhon taareeee....tuaan tuaaann...Now i was not really from a rich family but somehow my mom dad ensured that every morning my wallet was filled with enough cash for petrol, cold coffees and samosas. I didn't have, to be honest, any expensive tastes...i mean how much money can you burn on Re 1 samosas...even if you go ape shit one day and eat 10 more - it is what...a mere Rs 10 difference so i guess my parents didn't really have much of a chance to distrust me...anyway coming back to the Gedi route...CHK 6838 i miss you so so so much...that was my beloved camel colored brown maruti 800...i hope you are safe and sound in panchkula...

Post the Gedi route, since I had no friends except the 3 mentioned right at top, it was time for back home...which suited me perfectly...coz now started the welapandi of epic proportions...i always knew i had the talent to watch movies but this was like my net practice sachin batting during off time to hone his skills...this was my off time...except i didn't have any real matches to play :))) i would watch tv starting from 6pm to 3 am...every day...non top, without fail, without batting an pe movie, cricket pe cricket, cartoon pe cartoon, tareekh pe tareekh! At that time there was no HBO so only Star movies and I used to finish the full seasons within the 1st month! I would know each and every stat on cricket, tennis and soccer (well Nikhil used to know that 1 extra fact than me so he would kick my ass but yeah others i could take on with my eyes shut)

Dinner time was the usual - my mom dad were happy that i would imitate Madari Sir, they were happy with the fact that I was alive...they didn't really care much about grades, about how much welapandi i did. Meanwhile i would have another couple of glasses of undiluted, full sugar strength Thums Up by this time. My average daily intake of carbonated drinks (and by that, i don't mean sparkling water) was 1 Litre. No shit. These are real numbers and can be verified by calling up any of my relatives on mom's side.

There was no internet (or atleast not at my house) and no cell phones at that the whole evening was TV, telling stories to mom or playing hand cricket in my living room.

At 3AM, more out of boredom than exhaustion (I was already an insomniac by 3rd year), I would finally go to sleep, all ready, excited and mentally alert for the coming day! :)

Ofcourse no welapandi is ever complete without Drugs, Alcohol and Women. While I would elaborate on the first 2 in some other post, I must say women played an integral part in my 4 years. Though I recently got 2 pieces of bad news (bad for me, good for them) and i am very hurt - the 2 loves of my life (the 2 real ones amongst the many loves) have got married and i didn't even get a call! cheeee cheeee....kya gum hai jo itna muskra rahe ho...kya gum hai jise chupa rahe ho....after obsessing for 10 years, this is what i get...i didn't even get to drink a bottle of bacardi in depression...what a waste! :)

Now that was some life. I frankly don't have a great ending to this post except :))))




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