Delayed Post-
Since 3 ppl recently accused me of spinning stories and "exaggerating" just about any small incident that happens with me, here is a true story with absolutely no lies, no exaggerations and most certainly no mirch-masala (don't blame me later if YOU find it boring...suckers!)
Since 3 ppl recently accused me of spinning stories and "exaggerating" just about any small incident that happens with me, here is a true story with absolutely no lies, no exaggerations and most certainly no mirch-masala (don't blame me later if YOU find it boring...suckers!)
So i was on this flight recently from blore to delhi for the c++ specialist's wedding (those who know who, keep ur mouth shut, those who don't, don't ask) and i got bumped into business class (first time ever!)
Mayur: flight on time, wow, that is a first time ever for a domestic flight ...today might just be the day for many more first times since i got biz class too.
Javagal Srinath: nods...hi...(aggressively sits down next to me)...can't fit my legs into this man!...how does the seat belt work..fiddles...
Mayur: hmmm isko to dekha hua hai...i try to stare...hmmm with specs and with mooch to srinath jaisa hi hai but he has gone fatter...why don't ppl just care of the extra fat maaan, it looks so bad with age :) ..ok ok concentrate, he is indeed him... first time ever i have sat with remotely anyone famous (well...since it has to be truth only, 2nd time, I have sat with Chetan Baboor 2-3 times in TT nationals meet)
Srinath: looks at me, wassup dude? going to delhi?
Mayur: Indeed! how are you?
Srinath: Yes yes, gud, going for some work, Bangalore was hectic...blah blah
Mayur: hmmm chatty guy...
Air hostess comes to take orders....he orders a wada-sambhar (surprise surprise!)....i order an omelette...she gets it rather promptly...it was only just 10 minutes when she returns to clear tables...Srinath by that time was done but i was still working on it...
Air hostess (her name was Kitty...don't ask me why i noticed that or how i know it): Can i clear your plate sir?
Mayur: Hello Kitty, no, i am still working on it
Srinath: Let the guy eat in peace...can't you see he is still eating
Mayur: impressed...wah...this guy is defending me against kitty...acha ladka hai...
Srinath: So what do you do? IT?
Mayur: No, i actually work in a bank...but my home is in Bangalore (i have no clue why i said that...it's not like that Bangalore is like Switzerland or i wanted him to put in a word for me in the karnataka ranji team)...BTW i was good enuf for Chandigarh ex Haryana ex Punjab under 14 ranji team...ask Yuvi whose miserable spin bowling i cracked for consecutive 4s cover drives!...that's another story so let's not deviate
Srinath: Gimme some stock tips yaar
Mayur: how? cannot...i work in fixed income
Srinath: what is fixed income? mutual fund na?...tips to de do, i won't hold you to it chal...
Mayur: Arey yaar...samajh na...i dont't work in stocks....(it turned into one of those conversations again where i had to explain what the fkk is structured credit and what do i actually do...)...i blame it all on that manhoos hour of 2006 march placements when bhookha nanga pyaasa recruited me!
Srinath: hmmm...fine will let you go...sleeps off
Flight lands...we shake our heads politely while taking out our bags from overhead cabins...i knew it we were friends now...somehow something told me this meeting wasn't over...anyway we got out and as i was waiting for the taxi stand with my friend...guess what happens!
Srinath: Hey buddy...need a lift?
Mayur: I turn around...???? what??? he is acknowledging me in public?
Ppl obviously know who he is...khusar phusar starts...kids are pointing towards him...and then the usual thing happens...women start looking at me up and down...(now why i say it is usual is obviously not coz i am one of those guys who think that women check him out...no no no...it is always a strange evident case of whenever i walk with any girl in public, they have that written on their faces...who is this major loser walking alongside this hoor pari!...it happened to me at sukhna lake, it happened to me at juhu beach....it happened to me at cococabana...anyway...returning back...
Mayur: no thanks..i do have a cab booked
Srinath: ok cool...see you...will still ask for stock tips someday....good luck...bye
Dear Javagal Srinath...you are a cool dude...i always knew you were a better bowler than Kapil Dev and you are a great guy...please grow back that mustache and lose some weight..it will make you look better...also can you please coach sreesanth, ishant sharma and other new bowlers we have...they suck...also try wearing spectacles some day...my wife really likes Anil Kumble and then you can be her favorite too! (he told me he wears contacts...please don't ask me why he told me that...i just have that disarming quality where celebrities tell me a lot!)
MA
Mayur: Indeed! how are you?
Srinath: Yes yes, gud, going for some work, Bangalore was hectic...blah blah
Mayur: hmmm chatty guy...
Air hostess comes to take orders....he orders a wada-sambhar (surprise surprise!)....i order an omelette...she gets it rather promptly...it was only just 10 minutes when she returns to clear tables...Srinath by that time was done but i was still working on it...
Air hostess (her name was Kitty...don't ask me why i noticed that or how i know it): Can i clear your plate sir?
Mayur: Hello Kitty, no, i am still working on it
Srinath: Let the guy eat in peace...can't you see he is still eating
Mayur: impressed...wah...this guy is defending me against kitty...acha ladka hai...
Srinath: So what do you do? IT?
Mayur: No, i actually work in a bank...but my home is in Bangalore (i have no clue why i said that...it's not like that Bangalore is like Switzerland or i wanted him to put in a word for me in the karnataka ranji team)...BTW i was good enuf for Chandigarh ex Haryana ex Punjab under 14 ranji team...ask Yuvi whose miserable spin bowling i cracked for consecutive 4s cover drives!...that's another story so let's not deviate
Srinath: Gimme some stock tips yaar
Mayur: how? cannot...i work in fixed income
Srinath: what is fixed income? mutual fund na?...tips to de do, i won't hold you to it chal...
Mayur: Arey yaar...samajh na...i dont't work in stocks....(it turned into one of those conversations again where i had to explain what the fkk is structured credit and what do i actually do...)...i blame it all on that manhoos hour of 2006 march placements when bhookha nanga pyaasa recruited me!
Srinath: hmmm...fine will let you go...sleeps off
Flight lands...we shake our heads politely while taking out our bags from overhead cabins...i knew it we were friends now...somehow something told me this meeting wasn't over...anyway we got out and as i was waiting for the taxi stand with my friend...guess what happens!
Srinath: Hey buddy...need a lift?
Mayur: I turn around...???? what??? he is acknowledging me in public?
Ppl obviously know who he is...khusar phusar starts...kids are pointing towards him...and then the usual thing happens...women start looking at me up and down...(now why i say it is usual is obviously not coz i am one of those guys who think that women check him out...no no no...it is always a strange evident case of whenever i walk with any girl in public, they have that written on their faces...who is this major loser walking alongside this hoor pari!...it happened to me at sukhna lake, it happened to me at juhu beach....it happened to me at cococabana...anyway...returning back...
Mayur: no thanks..i do have a cab booked
Srinath: ok cool...see you...will still ask for stock tips someday....good luck...bye
Dear Javagal Srinath...you are a cool dude...i always knew you were a better bowler than Kapil Dev and you are a great guy...please grow back that mustache and lose some weight..it will make you look better...also can you please coach sreesanth, ishant sharma and other new bowlers we have...they suck...also try wearing spectacles some day...my wife really likes Anil Kumble and then you can be her favorite too! (he told me he wears contacts...please don't ask me why he told me that...i just have that disarming quality where celebrities tell me a lot!)
MA
The other day I was sitting next to Kumble in a Roller coaster in universal studios and he was talking about the time his friend Srinath got stock advice from a bond trader... Was that you?
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